Feeling Alive
by Lady Arabella Malfoy
Summary: Cartoon verse. Lydia grows up and she and BJ grew apart. They have a break up and not a clear one. Five years later Lydia reappears in the Neitherworld to find that she was replaced. And why does BJ treat her like scum?
1. Chapter 1

Beetlejuice series were the cartoons of my childhood, but I didn't understand much back then. Almost fifteen years later my interest was reignited and of course, I couldn't help but to check out the world of fanfiction on the subject. This fic was originally planned as a one short, nothing major, but as always it grew and grew and grew and became more than fifty pages long.

A little warning – the characters are slightly OOC, but there is a reason for that. It is manly cartoon verse, but one movie character remained (she is just too interesting to not mention).

**Disclaimer: Everything about Beetlejuice ****universe belongs to Tim Burton, to whom a lowly bow for his incredible talent and creativity.**

**Feeling A****live by Lady Arabella Malfoy**

"Come on, babes! Come on, come on, come on! You've been pouring over those books for _three_ days straight! When will we have fun already?"

"There is nothing I can do about the fact that I need to finish high school, Beej. And constant weaning and floating around above me doesn't help a bit!" Lydia snapped with irritation. "I have an exam tomorrow."

"And _then_ we will hang out? It's been ages!"

"You are exaggerating like always. Only a couple of months. And as I said _just a moment_ _before_ I have exams for which I need to study!" she shouted, slamming her forehead onto the current published occupant of her table. Beetlejuice was driving her nuts! He always did it to others and her occasionally, but right at that moment it was truly unbearable.

"So there will be another exam the day after tomorrow?" Beetlejuice inquired with a fallen face, but Lydia didn't see it, because she was already engrossed in her textbooks.

"No, there won't be any."

"So we are going to the Neitherworld?" Beetlejuice even did a somersault in the air to express his happiness.

"No, I have a date."

"Damn."

Lydia's dates were of course an extremely sensitive subject for Beetlejuice. Lydia started dating at sixteen and Beetlejuice was certainly not happy about it. Okay, he threw an enormous tantrum the consequences of which were still seen throughout the Neitherworld (not that Lydia knew or saw any). With time he learned to accept that Lydia also had private life which excluded him. However, the first half of the year was terrible – not only Beetlejuice ridiculed Lydia's boyfriends in all ways possible, but pulled pranks during the dates to the extent of his abilities of him being in another world. And since he was proudly calling himself the Ghost with the Most, he could do _a lot_.

At first Lydia found it funny and even flattering, but soon even the strongest willed guys started to freak out and that usually meant one thing. And no girl likes to be dumped and that frequently too. So she and her best friend BJ had a 'talk'. The resume of it was the following: since Lydia was alive, she was growing up which included certain activities he was certainly aware of because he was more than six hundred years old. So they worked out a schedule in which ten days a month of her life belonged solely to Beetlejuice.

The only problem was that with exams those days lately had been being sacrificed to the studies and Lydia found it pointless to move her other plans. She had only one life to live and BJ was not going anywhere, right?

"So is it the same guy?" Beetlejuice drawled, doing another lazy circle above her head.

Lydia held back a groan. Silence. She knew he hated it. "Yes, Beej, it is still Henry," Lydia replied with a sigh, knowing that it's better to say something, anything in return.

"How boring. It would've been much better for you to change them every time. Then the tricks would not have gotten old so quickly. Not they I use one trick more than once…"

"You act like such a child at times. Dating is not only about fun but the ways to share it with the special person."

"As if I don't know that! I don't see any sharing though," Beetlejuice snapped and snatched Lydia's calendar from her desk.

Lydia watched as he flipped the pages. His eyes were darkening with every day turning to yesterday. Only when Beetlejuice's white bangs started to move in a perfect replica of Gorgon Medusa, Lydia understood that she had made a grave mistake.

"What is the meaning if this, Lydia?" Beetlejuice asked, his voice dead. Beetlejuice was dead for a long time, but it was the first case of his voice sounding as if coming from the bottom of a very deep grave. "No BJ days this month and the next. Even Bertha sees you more than I!"

"Bertha is my friend, I can't just-"

"And I am your what?! Toy-zebra?!!"

"Let me explain, Beej, we are studying for the university entering exams together," Lydia pled, seeing the situation was getting out of control. A sudden rainstorm in her room was a more than suitable illustration to Beetlejuice's mood.

"University, hah? And when were you planning to share it with me? On the day of the departure?!"

"Of course not, I just didn't know how to break it to you. And nothing is for certain till September and -"

"Put a sock in it, Lyds," Beetlejuice barked and a sock attached itself to Lydia's lips. "We were best friends. Somewhere in the past. Yes, I am not one of your breathing friends, boyfriends, whoever. But I am not some imaginary friend either and I don't just disappear when a kid grows up. But since you are so eager to live this mundane life then I'll leave. You can do and go wherever you want with whoever you like. You'll never see me or the Neitherworld. Ever again."

"Wait, Beej, please!" Lydia cried, finally overcoming her shock. She couldn't believe what was happening. Didn't he need her for coming to this world? Weren't they the best of friends? He couldn't just leave her like that! He just couldn't by default! "Please, just give me some time! I promise that the moment I finish my exams we'll spend a whole week together. I swear!"

"Promises, promises," Beetlejuice tattered. His words formed letters in the air, but fell apart right away. "Five years. In five years exactly to the minute, the door to the Neitherworld will appear for an hour. If you do not enter, then you won't see it ever again."

And then he disappeared. Just like that. No good bye or even something close to it. But he couldn't completely vanish from the world of the living, right? Maybe it was just another prank?

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" she called into the darkness, but it remained dark and empty.

Only silence greeted her. Lydia was sure she would soon learn to hate it. She looked at the calendar that started the whole quarrel and gasped – that day was their eighth year anniversary. Lydia moved the glance back to the book (she indeed had to study), but all words seemed to be blurry.

……………..

A lot happened in Lydia Deetz's life in the following five years. She graduated from a university becoming a professional fashion designer. She had a string of admirers in there, some admired her art, some her outside beauty. She did have a steady relationship with one guy, Richard was his name. Everything was quite serious, they were even engaged for three months, but he broke it off. Lydia was devastated, but more because of the reason then because of the fact itself. Richard demanded her to choose between him and fashion. Her artistic soul revolted and she lost another person dear to her.

She moved to New York and her clothes instantly gained her a reputation and then a success in the world of fashion. Still she was counting days to the date that was circled in red in her current calendar. Lydia didn't know exactly what was the point of her returning to the Neitherworld. To say proper good byes to all her friends? And maybe find an answer to the question that was bugging (oh yes, 'bugging' was definitely the right world) her all those years: why had she not managed to replace him? To find a friend as funny and as unpredictable as Beetlejuice? Someone who always managed to make her smile no matter what. But Lydia knew it was impossible, you can't have a friend that could be _always_ by her side. She even parted ways with Bertha and Prudence, who now lived on the opposite ends of the USA after graduation. She exchanged e-mails with them, but they had their own lives and Lydia gave them the space they needed. She requested the same from Beetlejuice and he complied, but the emptiness inside her wasn't filled up. Not even her work could do that. The Ghost with the Most was hard to forget and impossible to replace.


	2. Chapter 2

The Deetzes were very surprised by Lydia's unexpected visit to the Peaceful Pines. That night, going to sleep, Lydia glances at the clock – only twenty hours till her bedroom will turn to the one she always dreamed about with the stairs to a small door… She remembered everything to the tiniest detail. But she needed to wait. Less than a day.

Ten hours later Lydia started to get anxious. Even giddy, like a little girl who was getting a long awaited gift. Lydia didn't understood why she was acting so childish. Like those five years hadn't passed at all.

She thought through the words she was going to say when they meet. She won't accuse him of anything, just say how glad she was to… what exactly? Meet an old friend? Tell him how much she had achieved in her new life? The life _without_ him? She couldn't just come and say, 'Hey, I am back, let's go on another juicy adventure!' Lydia didn't have anyone to wait for her in New York, but she had her job, even if a freelance one.

And what if Beetlejuice has long forgotten the whole arrangement and the door won't appear at all? But that's impossible, isn't it? He was rather forgetful, but he was no Peter Pan. Beetlejuice couldn't just forget her altogether. About all the years they've spent together exploring Neitherworld, about all the scams BJ tried to pull with her help to earn fast cash.

All doubtful and reminiscent thoughts left Lydia's head when the air in her bedroom began to shift. She once again felt the magic of another world embracing her and her surroundings. Lydia closed her eyes to savor the sensation from her childhood. She felt her clothes change and wondered how she would look like. But the answer was only a blink away, wasn't?

She neared the gothic mirror and gasped. The red poncho transformed into a bodice with transparent black web patterned cardigan underneath. The length and the slenderness of her legs were emphasized by tight leather pants and high boots with silver buckles all over. Lydia didn't consider the outfit slutty per se, but was it something she wanted in her subconsciesness? She didn't look bad, so who cared?

Lydia flew up the stairs, opened the door and… there was nothing behind it. Not exactly nothing, because the Road House was where it always was and the white road led right to it, but there was _nobody_ in sight.

"I didn't expect a welcome hug anyway," Lydia muttered and headed towards the house, which looked lifeless. Lifeless meaning silent and empty, because it _was_ lifeless. She heard voices coming from the garage and hurried there her aim only meters away.

Upon entering the garage, she held back a giggle, seeing two striped legs hanging out from under Doomie's opened hood. The legs seemed to be doing some weird dance without any music and it was totally hilarious. Doomie honked and sent a tirade of other sounds, jumping up and down. The car not only recognized Lydia but was very happy to see her. In its enthusiastic greetings Doomie forgot about Beetlejuice being under the hood, so the ghost received quite a spanking and was even swallowed up to his boots.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Beetlejuice's yells echoed from Doomie's engine.

"BJ, what's taking you so long? Can't fix a car now?" came a boyish voice from behind the door that led into the house.

Soon after the door revealed the voice's owner – it was indeed a boy, not older than twelve by Lydia's estimation. He had wild light brown hair and was dressed in oversized clothes that were clean some decade ago. And even if he was unhealthy pale, he was certainly alive.

"Hey, Beej, how come there is a hot babe in our garage?" the boy asked, looking Lydia over.

"What nonsense are you babbling about there?" Beetlejuice asked, crawling out from under the hood, slamming it open far from carefully. "It will be the end of the Neitherworld when a hot babe willingly comes here. Oh."

'Oh' was Beetlejuice's reaction to seeing his guest and understanding that the boy was right and no end of the world was necessary. Neitherworld's anyway. Beetlejuice stared at her, Lydia stared back and nothing else was said or done. All words that Lydia prepared beforehand vanished from her mind. She just couldn't believe in the reality of the surriality that was around her. And that boy…

"Hi, BJ," she finally said, unable to withstand his burning glance anymore.

"Surprised to see you here, Lyds," Beetlejuice drawled, sounding indifferent. Despite the obvious changes he recognized her right away.

"Why? We did settle on a date in advance," Lydia responded in the same flat tone, knowing that emotions will only spoil everything at the moment.

"Thought you would not have time for bad old BJ."

"Hey, guys, do you know each other?" the boy cut in. "Why didn't you tell me you know another breather, Beej? We could've had so much fun together! The three of us!" the youngster exclaimed with enthusiasm.

"Shut it, Kev, I am getting a headache," Beetlejuice snapped and disappeared.

"So you are Kevin?" Lydia asked with a strangled smile, trying to hide her disappointment on Beetlejuice walking out on her.

"Yeah, and you are?" Kevin asked back with a frown. She was hot, but somehow he knew she only meant trouble.

"I am Lydia. Pleased to meet you," Lydia introduced herself, stretching out her hand. "So what are you doing here?"

Kevin shook her hand but with caution. "I am BJ's best friend. And what are _you_ doing here? You are the Lydia, right?"

"Beetlejuice talks about me?" she asked with a reignited hope that the old friendship was salvageable.

"No. Not a word. Ginger does. She always repeats, 'If only Lydia was here'. And then shakes her head. I don't know what she means by that. So why did you come? Or better why did you leave?"

Lydia admitted that for a teenager Kevin was awfully perceptive. "I grew up."

"That sucks. Well, I need to decorate the car, you can do whatever you want."

"What's the occasion?"

"We are going to a wedding."

Lydia wanted to ask for details, but Kevin had already disappeared inside the house. Lydia had no other choice but to follow.

The Road House inside remained as unchanged as on the outside maybe only even more trashed which was no surprise to Lydia. What was a surprise, was an overwhelming evidence of Kevin's presence. Socks, pieces of clothes of small size, comics editions about ghosts, vampires and everything unnatural and extraterrestrial were scattered around the living room. At the very least. The other thing was that there were no pictures of her, and Lydia surely remembered there were quite several of them on the walls.

For some reason Lydia started to feel depressed. She needed to talk to someone. It was the reason why she came – talk things through with Beetlejuice. But he just ran away like a coward, like he did the last time actually. What reasons could he have to just run away like that? He was afraid only of Sandworms to the extent to blindly run away.

Lydia knocked on the board, hoping against hope that Ginger was home. She was not disappointed this time.

"I can't believe my eyes! It is really you, Lydia?" Ginger exclaimed and fell down onto Lydia's head to hug the young woman will all her eight legs. "You must tell me everything! Why did you leave? What did you do all these years? Where have you been? I want the whole story!"

"I promise, I'll do just that, Ginger, if you release my hair."

The spider jumped onto the floor and minced to the front door. "Let's go for a walk to get some air. This house stinks."

Lydia raised an eyebrow at Ginger's spiteful even hateful attitude. The house stunk for _centuries_ so what was different now?

"Okay, tell me what happened," Ginger actually ordered the moment they took a table in one of the cafes. Lydia didn't even want to start thinking what the cakes were made of.

"There isn't much to tell. Finished school and university, moved to New York, had four boyfriends, to one of them was engaged but we broke up. That's all."

Ginger gave her a doubtful look. "So why did you stop coming here?"

"I didn't stop anything! BJ got angry because I was not spending time here and cut me off. _I _didn't do anything. I didn't even manage to say a word, he just blew up or something. And now he is hiding and I can't even apologize or protest or whatever. I don't even know if I will be able to come here again after I leave tonight. Why isn't he talking to me?!" Lydia slammed the table with her fist putting in the hit all her pelt up frustration.

"Well, he did the same five years ago, so I am not that astonished."

"Did what?"

"Didn't talk to anyone." Ginger glanced at the table then sideways to check if anybody was listening onto the conversation. She didn't see anyone suspicious, but still stepped onto the table and whispered right into Lydia's ear. "I beg of you, you must help him or something terribly horrible is going to happen."

"But what do you mean?" Lydia whispered back. "And how can I do anything if he doesn't talk to me?"

"Don't give up. He must be in his room. Beetlejuice always goes there when he is… in a bad mood. Believe me, five years ago something happened to him. Something ferocious. I am not absolutely certain, but I think he died."

"He what?!" Lydia shouted, instantly gathering attention from all the café clients. "Sorry. How could that be possible, he is a _ghost_," Lydia said, returning to whisper.

"It is actually very possible. It is like falling into a deep trance. It is not a rebirth, but something is always left behind when a ghost returns from 'the dead'."

"But how and why?"

"Death is very personal. Neither I nor anybody else knows about Beetlejuice's… experience."

"Did you, you know, died all over again?"

"Yes, a couple of centuries ago. When I lost my home," Ginger replied in an even voice, but a shadow of tragedy flashed in her friendly eyes.

'_It was so long ago, but she still remembers it. Could it happen to BJ too? Must've been horrible to die again. But he didn't look any different emotionally wise. Oh, what am I thinking? BJ's train of thought rides only towards trouble making. And getting rich in a day. I hardly imagine him undergoing an emotional turmoil of _any_ kind._' "It's getting late, I'd better find him."

Easier said than done. When Lydia returned to the garage, it was empty. Beetlejuice must've taken Doomie for a ride, so her chances to talk to him soon were becoming slim with every minute. Lydia walked through the house recalling the memories that were associated with one place or the other. She was so deep in thought that didn't see Jacques coming from the other end of the hall. Only a loud crash brought her back to the world of the dead.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry, Jacques! I haven't seen you coming, I-"

"Enough with excuses, mon cherie," Jacques stopped her, putting his scull into its appropriate place. "Lydia was the only one who apologized for such a thing so it must be you. I mean, you must be Lydia."

"Yeah, I am."

"Oh, how glad I am to see you!" Jacques exclaimed enveloping her in a bone-crashing hug. "I was afraid we had lost you! What a tragedy it was!"

"Jacques, I can't breath," Lydia rasped, coming to a conclusion that working out actually added strength to the bones.

"So sorry! Oh let me look at you! Charmant, charmant! You grew up wonderfully!"

"Thank you for the compliment, Jacques," Lydia said with a smile. "At least there is one gentleman in this house."

"Don't mind Beetlejuice, he is always like that."

"Yeah," she agreed, but it was clear that Lydia was hurt by his total indifference.

"Let's go to my gym, we have a lot to talk about," Jacques suggested, putting his arm around her shoulders and steering her into the direction of the gym.

"What was that?" Lydia wondered, hearing a door slam shut.

"Who knows? This house has a life of its own."

"So what did you want to talk about? I have already presented the short story of my life to Ginger, so you can ask her about my boring five years in the world of the living."

"I'll certainly will, Lydia. I won't ask why you stopped visiting us, because any normal person would."

Lydia snorted. Beetlejuice was obviously not normal.

"Yes, he is not."

"How did you know I was thinking about _him_?"

"Who else could you think about? I want to be frank with you. Beetlejuice is an ass, always was and always will be. But since you two parted ways he has been turning into a _monster_."

"What could you possible mean by that?" Lydia inquired, not really believing.

"You had power over him."

"Power? Like B-words?"

"No, you were his conscience, his judge. With you beside him he had boundaries. Now he has none."

"But what about Kevin? Certainly, his presence-"

"Kevin is just a hooligan, who idolizes Beetlejuice and will do anything he says."

"But still I don't believe you completely, Jacques. To call Beetlejuice a monster… He must've done… I don't even know what it could be."

"He killed a Sandworm," Jacques threw a bomb with a sigh.

"What?!!"

"With a snap of his fingers. It was in a way. And then he cut off its head and hung it up in his room."

"Oh my God…" Lydia breathed out, her eyes widening in horror. "I must talk to him _right now_! This is not right! This is not like him! This is not like my BJ!" Half of the exclamations were made when Lydia already left Jacques room, but she paid it no mind. She rushed towards Beetlejuice's room and slammed the door open without even knocking, which was very uncharacteristic of her.

The first thing she saw however was not the coffin-bed, the torches or the junk that was scattered all over the room. It was the head on the wall. Its ugly jaws were half open as if ready to swallow Lydia the moment she steps closer. And she did. The eyes glowed and the jaws started to move hissing and wheezing.

"I've seen enough real Sandworms not to be scared by such amateur parody. Come out, Beej." The Sandworm seized movement, but Lydia was still alone in the room. "I am not leaving until I talk to you, BJ."

"What's the point if you disappear again several hours later and never return?" came a grumpy voice from somewhere above.

"I won't if you don't want me to. But if you do, I at least want to say a proper good bye."

"Say it and leave."

"I need to see you for that." Lydia began to feel ridiculous, like Dorophy talking to the Wizard of Oz. "Am I scarier than a Sandworm? If it is the clothes, I can find a blanket to cover them." '_What am I doing begging like that? Is that what Jacques was talking about, him taking pleasure in such torment?_'

Suddenly Beetlejuice's eyeballs appeared on Lydia's eye level. "Age _did_ you some good in the looks' department," Beetlejuice's voice remarked, while the eyes literally roamed all over Lydia's body, making her blush when the eyes bounced from one breast to another. The eyeballs returned to their floating position and Beetlejuice materialized in whole his striped glory right in front of her.

"I missed you so much," Lydia uttered breathlessly, hugging him tightly by the neck.

"What are you doing, Lyds?" Beetlejuice croaked, even if he didn't lack any air in his lungs. "Is that your good bye?"

'_He would've turned into a board, considering the stiffness of his shoulders, but why didn't he? And why does he feel so uncomfortable around me?_' Lydia withdrew, herself surprised at her sudden action. Only minute ago she wanted to make him straight, question his actions, but the moment she saw him all her animosity flew away. She was acting like a hormones raging pregnant woman, which she certainly was not. "So you don't want me here at all?" she asked, shocked by his razor sharp dismission.

"Why should I?" he asked, leaping to the other end of the room. As if her very presence disgusted him. Which was certainly saying a lot since he was only disgusted by nice things. "You stated very clearly that you have a life to live. You are alive, you don't have place in this world."

"But Kevin is the same as me, he will grow up eventually and-"

"He won't."

"All kids grow up."

"Not all. I've chosen him very carefully. A homeless guy with no parents, no friends, no schools, no dates, no universities. I couldn't repeat the same mistake for the sake of my afterlife."

"Mistake? So I was a mistake?!"

"Look, how it turned out."

Lydia was taken aback by his flat tone. She knew deep inside that he was right, that she needed to return to her job, and he now had Kevin by his side, but the way Beetlejuice treated her… like some wandering cat that must be kicked out… That was not like him at all.

"Why did you open the door then if you didn't want to see me?"

Beetlejuice's eyes darted sideways. "I didn't. I juiced for it to appear after five years the day you kicked me out and then forgot about it."

'I_ kicked him out?_' "So you didn't know I was coming today?"

"Nope."

The plain admission crushed all Lydia's hopes. Yes, Jacques and Ginger were glad to see her and certainly missed her, but if her longtime best friend didn't want her around so what was the point to force the circumstances? Their relationship couldn't be the same anymore anyway.

Without a single word to either Ginger or Jacques Lydia left the Road House and headed towards the little door, following the curvy white road. One phrase kept nagging her the whole way. How could children not grow up? This was not the Netherland of Peter Pan. She was almost at the door, but turned at her heels and sprinted back after a devastating revelation hit her – _dead_ children don't grow up. Could it be that Beetlejuice planned to… kill Kevin in the Outerworld? She couldn't let that happen! And not only for Kevin's sake, but for Beetlejuice's too. Another death will certainly turn him into a monster.


	3. Chapter 3

Lydia was spared the embarrassment of knocking on the door, because Kevin was outside putting black ribbons on Doomie.

"I need to talk to you, Kevin," she stated in a parenting tone.

"Just a moment, missy." The boy attached the bunch of black flowers on the hood and turned his attention to Lydia, confirming her first expression – the boy looked really sick.

"So, well, how long do you know Beetlejuice?" Lydia asked to strike a conversation.

"Three years next month."

"You count?"

"Yeah, we have big parties on the anniversaries."

"That's wonderful. And how did you meet him?"

"It happened like this-" Kevin's next words were stopped by a heavy cough. He hurriedly brought up a dirty handkerchief and covered his mouth.

"Gods," Lydia breathed out, seeing the blood stained piece of cloth. "You have TB."

"Yep," he confirmed when the coughing fit passed.

"But you must be treated in a hospital!"

"What for?"

"What do you mean what for? You are going to die otherwise!"

"Can't wait. I would've died a year ago already, but since I am here all the time the disease is regressing, because this air doesn't have Outerworld pollutants. But I am still getting there, so hopefully I'll die in a year."

In all her Neitherworld experience hadn't Lydia heard anything similar. The kid _wanted_ to die. "But why?"

"Those who die here, stay here. I will be with Beetlejuice FOREVER! What can be better in this life?"

"Growing up?"

"Hah! Try to grow up in Bronx when you are homeless."

'_He would end up in a gang and then most probably in prison. But not care for his life like that… The only difference is that he knows exactly what his afterlife will be, that's why he doesn't struggle to hold on the last thread of life like everybody else does_.' "Are you sure that you will get here after your…"

"Death? Of course, BJ said so, so it is so."

There was so much devotion in Kevin's eyes that Lydia felt miserable once again. There was time when she felt the same. What didn't she do for Beetlejuice in the times of their friendship? Only didn't marry him. Lydia didn't say that his object of adoration was a cheating liar who will do anything to get some quick cash. No, but she didn't know what else to say to the dying boy. It was obviously pointless to talk Kevin round about his decision.

"Can you walk me out? You can tell me about some of your adventures."

"No problem."

They had been walking for not more than ten minutes when Beetlejuice appeared hovering over them. "Where do you think you are going?"

Lydia jumped hearing the whip like question. She didn't like Beetlejuice's angry expression. Didn't like it one bit. He was so full of negativity, it was impossible to believe that it was the same ghost she was friends with. And maybe it wasn't? She really wanted to know what happened to turn him in this… character.

"I was just walking miss Lydia out, BJ. The car is ready so I had some spare time. The equipment is in the back already, the Neitherworld will remember this wedding for eternity!"

With all the emotional rush, Lydia had completely forgotten about the mysterious wedding. The preparations were so thorough that it could mean only one thing. "Are you getting married, Beetlejuice?"

Beetlejuice's legs gave away from shock and he landed quite ungracefully onto his bum, wearing a completely horrified expression.

Kevin burst into a fit of giggles. "That was a nice one, miss Lydia! I would like to see the day! You must stay! Nobody can scare BJ like that!"

"She is not staying. That's final," Beetlejuice barked, finally coming around.

"Common, BJ, only for the wedding," Kevin outright begged. "She can be a good distraction."

"Yeah," Beetlejuice drawled, looking Lydia over once again.

Lydia's eyebrows rose quite high. Was BJ checking her out?

But in a second Beetlejuice's glance turned back to Kevin and his puppy dog eyes. And Lydia finally saw something familiar – Beetlejuice's eyes softened and he gave up with a nod.

"Wow! Super! But we need to rearrange the positions in the operation's plan, right, Beej?" Kevin chirped with overflowing jollity.

"Operation's plan?" Lydia asked over, feeling that she wouldn't like hearing what was said next.

"Operation 'Wedding Crashers'!"

"You are going to crash the wedding? But why?"

"We were not invited," Beetlejuice grunted. "Even that bonehead was, and we were not."

Lydia needn't ask 'why' this time. "But whose wedding is this?"

"But Prince Vince's of course!" Kevin supplied the answer.

"You can't do it," Lydia protested. "Not to Prince Vince."

"Why not?"

Lydia was surprised it was Kevin who asked the question. But then, what did the boy know about the weddings? "Because weddings are very special. It is supposed to be the best day of the… afterlife for the marring couple. And Prince Vince had been miserable for so long and now he finally found someone to be happy with. You can't tamper like this on something precious."

"Well, I don't know. The princess looks more like a moving statue to me. I don't see how she can make anybody happy."

"Then they will be miserable together," Lydia continued to attempt to prove her point.

"You mean misery likes company?" Kevin asked uncertain.

"Exactly."

"You know, Beej, I was wrong, she is no fun at all. There is no fun taking her with us, she will only mess up our plans."

Lydia moved her eyes to Beetlejuice, who to her astonishment was actually debating the situation at hand. "Have you ever been to a wedding?" he asked conversationally. "You seem to know a lot about the stuff."

"I cancelled mine if you question my experience. But, yes, I was a Maid of Honor on Prudence's wedding."

"Ugly Prudy got hitched?" Beetlejuice asked with mirth.

"Yes, and she is very happy," Lydia replied, daring with her stare to say anything remotely remorseful about the fact.

"The irony of it, isn't it?" Beetlejuice only said, making Lydia's shoulders slump an inch. Oh yes, the irony… Even Prudence has gotten her happily ever after. And Lydia Deetz… only shatters of past relationships.

"What will it be, Beetlejuice?" Kevin asked eager to do something practical. Long discussions were not for him.

"We will sit through the ceremony in the castle and then have our fun at the reception," Beetlejuice proclaimed.

"Kill them with anticipation?" the boy uttered, his eyes already shining with the anticipation of his own. At that moment he didn't look sick at all.

"Exactly."

Lydia rolled her eyes. She knew that what she was getting into could turn into a total disaster with unpredictable consequences. But didn't it always?

………………..

The wedding was on the next day, so Lydia crashed at the Road House, in the living room, with Ginger providing some clean sheets. In the morning Kevin was missing, but, as Lydia noticed, Beetlejuice didn't find it strange. It seemed to be quite a normal behavior for the youngster. Again with the help of Ginger Lydia found water and toiletries to freshen up.

She was waiting in the garage, chatting with Doomie, when she heard a toe curling scream from the house. By instinct that formed with the years of hearing Beetlejuice's cries of distress and even pure panic, Lydia rushed into the house to find an odd picture. It was so odd that she started to laugh. In the center of the living room stood someone whom Beetlejuice considered an epitome of evil, judging by his bulging eyes and flying hair.

"Oh, it is not that bad, BJ, it's only for a couple of days," the 'evil' promised, but it didn't help to calm the screaming banshee into which Beetlejuice transformed and was running around the living room. "Good morning, miss Lydia. BJ promised me a tux, I couldn't just put it on like I was. Right?"

"You are absolutely right, Kevin," Lydia agreed, raffling his now blond curls.

"Hey watch it! Don't mess with the haircut."

"Sorry, sorry."

Upon closer inspection Lydia understood Beetlejuice's reaction. Kevin was not only clean, but with his blond curls and shiny blue eyes lacked only small snow white wings to look like an angel. And angels were _cute_.

"So what tux were you talking about?" Lydia asked, but couldn't hear anything because of Beetlejuice's cries. "Stop it already! You are acting more than ridiculous!" she snapped, stepping into the banshee's running trajectory. For a moment there Lydia was not sure at all that Beetlejuice wouldn't run her over and prepared for impact, but he stopped a hair away from her and disappeared, reappearing in his usual form in the other end of the room.

"That tux," Beetlejuice snapped, juicing Kevin an indigo tuxedo with a golden shirt and an undone bowtie. Tying the bow Beetlejuice considered a criminal act against all his believes.

"Wow, such a young gentleman," Lydia praised. "Your cleaning efforts were not in vain."

"Not mine actually. Mrs. Juice scrubbed me raw the whole morning. And I mean _raw_, some places still hurt," Kevin said with a quivering low lip, asking for sympathy. Which Lydia provided right away with another patting on the head, but now cautious of the haircut. Beetlejuice snorted loudly clearly showing his opinion on the matter. "So get ready, BJ, and let's get on the road."

With a snap of his fingers Beetlejuice changed into his black tuxedo with the vine red shirt. Lydia always thought that he looked rather dashing in it. Neither the looks nor the opinion changed over the years.

"And what about miss Lydia?"

Lydia gaped. She had completely forgotten about her outfit. And she had to agree with Kevin – a dress would be much more appropriate. That's why her look of expectation joined Kevin's.

Beetlejuice tilted his head sideways as if thinking up the costume, but Lydia saw through his act. He was enjoying every minute of it. A little revenge for approving of Kevin's cleaning up. Lydia restrained herself from shaking her head. A child to the core.

The juice zapped at Lydia and she found herself in a long tight fitting black dress with web patterns and spiders here and there. She looked around to look into a mirror, but found there were no mirrors in the room. What she knew without a mirror was that the décolleté was too low for her standards, but who was going to judge her here? She touched the jewelry the weight of which she felt on her neck and almost burst into tears – it was the bat necklace, Beetlejuice's present on their first anniversary.

"Remember when I call you a hot babe? I take my words back, you are really beautiful, miss Lydia."

"Thank you, Kevin."

"Don't you have to say anything, Beej? You are the man around here."

"Don't bother, Kevin," Lydia said with a smile that failed to reach her eyes. "Complimenting is nice, and Beetlejuice doesn't do nice." She glanced at 'the man' for confirmation and saw him pushing his hands deeper into his pockets, eyes downcast. Did he actually want to say something?


	4. Chapter 4

Invited or not but all the inhabitants of the Neitherworld seemed to gather for the wedding ceremony of their ruler. Ghouls of all forms and sizes, texture and adore. Lydia has never seen such a variety of ghosts even after participating in all kinds of public activities in the world of the dead. They were not squeezed into mush only because Doomie was flying above the endless mass. Not that the air was completely empty. Who said that ghouls could not fly?

"For crying out loud, why didn't he rent out Collander-Seum or something?" Beetlejuice complained, steering through the crowded air.

"I suppose, Prince Vince was too wrapped up with his fiancée to care about such trivial things," Lydia supplied the explanation, but received only a snort in response.

They have gotten seats in the center of the hall and Lydia understood what Kevin meant by killing with anticipation. At least half of the crowd was watching Beetlejuice half of the time. They wanted to know when to run so not to fall victims to his prank. And there surely will be one, because that's why he was present at all?

Lydia couldn't help but wonder when Beetlejuice started using psychological pressure in his pranks. Those were the big guns already, who knew how much he could evolve? But at that moment she really didn't want to worry herself with that, because Beetlejuice was indeed sitting quietly with no intention to ruin the ceremony. Speaking of ceremonies – it was a very beautiful one, in its own gross way. Lydia didn't know how time worked in the Neitherworld, so she was not surprised that the groom was not a boy anymore. The corpse bride, on the other hand, indeed looked like a clay statue. Her skin was dark blue and she had a figure to die for. A myth about Galatea resurfaced in Lydia's memory. That could actually be Galatea for all she knew. All and all the pair looked very good together.

"Are all weddings this long?" Kevin weaned when they took their place in the queue to give presents to the newlyweds. Which was far from short, it could take an eternity or two to reach the royal family.

"When Beetlejuice is going to get married, you can organize everything to be very short," Lydia said to somehow calm down the overzealous boy. She felt as Beetlejuice bristled beside her. "So there is a M-word now? I always wondered when this will happen. I mean there are the L-word and the N-word and nothing in between. Poor alphabet. But now it is all set," she outright teased the Ghost with the Most. "I wonder what will be the next letter."

"Are you alright, BJ?" Kevin asked, watching as Beetlejuice's face turned redder and redder until smoke blew out of his ears. His friend was surely acting strange.

"What is it, BJ? Can't take a joke?" Lydia continued with her teasing war. She had almost forgotten how fun it could be to just joke around without restrain, not thinking what others' opinions will be the next morning. Beetlejuice wasn't taking it well, however. Well, she had never teased him about his 'insecurities', simply considered them a part of him.

Beetlejuice's reaction, whichever it might be, was postponed by them reaching their destination.

"It is… good to see you here, Beetlejuice," Prince greeted hesitantly. Even he was cautious of the Best Prankster of the Neitherworld. "And who is this lovely lady with you?"

"Can't recognize your old flame in front of your newly acquired wife?" Beetlejuice snarled, his mood obviously far from turning back to normal or anything far from gloomy.

"It is Lydia," Lydia supplied the name, seeing as the prince just couldn't find it in his mind. She was not hurt per se, but she found it strange that he could forget the only alive friend he had. Even wanted to make her his princess. Even ghosts seem to move on.

"I am so sorry, dear Lydia! How could I forget such a charming person?! You just _must_ come to the reception in the Hotel Hello. Here is the invitation." Vince practically foisted the piece of paper into Lydia's hands. And then his Highness remembered that she was not alone. Now that was a question of diplomacy on a very high level. If he ignores Lydia's companions, it would be rude towards his guests in general, but if he officially lets Beetlejuice to come to the reception all the blame for the mayhem he will cause there, and he definitely will, will fall on the head of Prince Vince and neither his counselors nor his people will be happy about it. "You can bring you friends too."

"We will be delighted, Your Highness," Lydia thanked with a curtsy. "Say thank you," she hissed, hitting Beetlejuice over his head. He only grunted something inarticulate.

Prince Vince eyed two boxes that joined the pile of presents. "Hopefully, there is no stink-bomb in those."

"It is in the striped one. But you must've guessed already. We won't stall the others seeking your attention." With that said Lydia pulled both Beetlejuice and Kevin out of the main hall. She hoped that Beetlejuice would not start anything while they were in public, but that was certainly in vain.

Beetlejuice blew up when they were half way through. "What in blasted Hell was that?! Are you my frigging mother?! You are ruining my reputation, woman!"

"You are doing it yourself, shouting about it for everyone to hear. Shut it until we are clear of the crowd," Lydia snapped, not only adding 'I am going to spank you, you naughty boy'.

They finally reached Doomie who parked himself after the trio took their seats. Lydia started to open the back door, but was junked back by a grip of a cold hand on her forearm.

"You have no right," Beetlejuice uttered in a dangerously low whisper, pressing her to the door with his body (and he had more than six feet in him so he was no feather), "to talk to me like that. Not even my mother talks to me like that."

"Like what?" Lydia asked, not in the least bit intimidated. The green rounds in his eyes did concern her slightly, however.

"Like I am three hundred years old."

"What can I do if you act like one? But if you want I can call for your mother, I am sure she is around here somewhere. She will definitely agree with me."

Beetlejuice pushed a bit more but then disappeared and reappeared behind the wheel. "Get in," he barked, "or we will get into another crowd. I don't know for you, Lydia, but mister Nice Guy ends here, so you are on your own the moment we reach the gate. It's showtime!"

…………………

Beetlejuice kept his word – he and Kevin left her at the entrance to the hotel campus and disappeared into the night. Lydia didn't want to imagine how the poor guests would suffer. She knew that Doomie's trunk had a whole arsenal for practical pranks. But despite everything she knew that was his nature, Beetlejuice's very existence was directed to cause havoc and play tricks on others. She only hoped that with the downward mood she created, his jokes wouldn't be mean.

'_But what happened by the car? BJ did throw tantrums and went into hysterics, but he has never been so angry, he was ready to throttle me right then and there, even in Kevin's presence. I am even afraid to think what example he sets for the boy. And I am certain the thought didn't even cross his mind._'

After settling in her room, Lydia went outside where the reception was held. Even if she couldn't eat anything, she was quite eager to find and chat with Ginger or Jacques or even Beetlejuice's parents. Lydia saw neither Beetlejuice nor Kevin on the lawn, but she thought their presence would be announced by any form of apocalypses they had planned. Beetlejuice and Kevin – riders of the Apocalypses. If only she had her camera, they could make a spectacular picture!

Several hours later Lydia was finally neared by the newlyweds. She once again noticed the serious change in Prince Vince. He was not all goofy and skipping, but there was a small but constant smile on his thin lips. As if he knew a secret nobody else knew. Lydia knew that secret all too well. She hoped that it would be known to her again someday.

"Lydia, let me introduce you to Melancholia," Prince Vince greeted her. The woman beside him stretched out her blue hand and Lydia shook it by the fingers not forgetting to do a curtsy. "There is no need for such formality, Lydia. We are old friends."

"Vince told me a lot about you while we were driven here," came a voice of Melancholia unusually deep for her petite figure. "I am new around here, but I am already knowledgeable of Beetlejuice and his… lifestyle. Can you tell me, how you, such a levelheaded and good-mannered person, become not only close to him but inseparable friends with him?"

"Frankly speaking, it is still a mystery to me. But he is not all bad, he can be very sensitive and caring. But I'll speak no more, I was already accused today of ruining his reputation."

"But now you are preserving it. It is a pity he doesn't treasure a friend like you."

"You don't know him well enough to accuse him of such things," Lydia said defensively. "You have no idea what happened between us."

"Yes, we don't, but we all remember a quake five years ago. We thought we'd become food for Sandworms," Prince Vince explained his wife's statement.

They left to mingle with other guests after some more small talk, but Lydia couldn't put aside the information she had just received. Five years ago Beetlejuice blocked her out and caused a huge quake of the _whole_ Neitherworld (did he even possess such power?) and then possibly died. But why? Was he angry? Jealous? Devastated? Whatever the cause, she will not stop until she finds the answer.

The evening progressed slowly into dancing and still Lydia hasn't noticed any abnormality among the guests. She was quite popular by the male part (as far as you could distinguish the gender among the Neitherworld habitants) of the guests and was not sitting at all. But quite soon her hands, not to mention the dress had become slimy and dirty and outright filthy, which didn't made her happy in the least. Changing partner to partner Lydia couldn't help but think about Beetlejuice, he was the one who could really cut the rug.

Lydia finally fell onto one of the chairs and started a hunt for a napkin to somehow wipe away the grime.

"That won't help, you know."

Lydia almost fell from the chair out of surprise to hear a normal human speech. "What are you doing here, Kevin? Shouldn't you be off… somewhere?"

Kevin tilted down to whisper very softly into Lydia's era, "We booby-trapped the whole hotel. They won't know what hit them. And nobody won't be able to prove anything."

Lydia had to admit that was a very smart move. The only downside was that she didn't know where the traps were, so she could be walking right into them. A not so little revenge on Beetlejuice's part, she could bet on it.

"But since we are here," Kevin continued in a normal voice, "I came to ask you to dance."

"Beej taught you?"

"He can dance?!"

"You've missed a lot, kid, not seeing that master on the floor. But since he is not here, how can I deny such a fine gentleman like you?" Lydia asked playfully and gave the boy her hand.

To put it frankly Kevin knew very few things about dancing, but did his best and Lydia's feet did not suffer. Much.

"I am really sorry. I was not good at all," Kevin apologized upon their return to the table Lydia previously occupied.

"No need, Kevin. Everyone must take first steps in something or other. With practice you will definitely learn, especially if you ask Beetlejuice to teach you. I think he is the best there is."

"Is he now?" came a drawl from behind her.

Lydia turned to answer and her jaw dropped. She blinked once, twice, but still couldn't come to her senses. At that moment she could only recall the episode when Beetlebones left Beetlejuice's body; how dignified the skeleton was and the words of the doctor: the insides and the outsides make up one's personality. Beetlejuice had a whole dozen of them, but never one of a sophisticated gentleman resurfaced. Lydia looked him over once again. Nothing actually changed, maybe the posture was a bit straighter and hair a bit more tamed, but the most striking difference was the gloves. Spotless snow white gloves.

"My memory is incomplete, but I believe that was our dance."

Lydia finally snapped out of her trance, hearing the starting notes of a tango. It was their dance from the very beginning, since she was twelve. She couldn't forget the experience even after the years without practice. She felt as two slits formed along her tight skirt and grime evaporated from her hands and dress. Oh yes, she was ready.

The dance was exhilarating. Lydia didn't remember the last time they danced like that. Her seventeenth birthday? Despite their earlier argument, they moved in harmony of a perfect couple. The only thing she was missing was the chill of his touch that always sent shivers all over her skin, and not unpleasant ones.

"That was fantastic!" Kevin cried upon their return, jumping up and down all giddy with excitement and awe. "Why haven't you ever told me you could dance, BJ?! You are so going to show me some cool moves!"

"Grow up first, Kev," Beetlejuice said with a shrug.

"But I will never grow up!"

"You will. In a century or two."

"But that is so far away!"

Lydia threw a confused glance at Beetlejuice. He said it as he was absolutely certain about it. But didn't Kevin say previously that those who died a child staid a child in the afterlife?

"And your bed time is quite near so off to your room," Beetlejuice ordered in quite a parental voice, which shocked Lydia to the bone. "It is better to go up with us," he stated, now addressing her. "If you know what I mean."

"Yes, of course," she agreed right away, knowing that even stepping on any stair could be a death sentence for her.

"I can do it myself."

"You can't, Kev, and you won't."

Before Lydia could inquire what they were arguing about, she was grabbed by the waist, levitated towards her balcony and left there alone once again.

"What is it with Beetlejuice and disappearing acts? He was always into theatrics, but he at least waited to hear the applause. Well, it's time to go to bed."

Lydia entered the room, which was surprisingly decent, clean sheets and everything. She remembered her parents spend a weekend here and there was some trouble, only Lydia couldn't remember of what sort. Beetlejuice's presence equaled trouble wherever he went, that was what made their friendship so exiting.

She discarded the dress and got under the covers. The moment she closed her eyes she heard a distant groan, then another, then a wail and a cry of indignation. The guests had found themselves some striped surprises. It was going to be a long night. In addition to all kinds of sounds coming from every corner of the building Lydia felt a horrible stench just outside her window, which made getting to asleep completely impossible. She put on a bathrobe and went to investigate.

"Since when do you smoke?" she asked, totally flabbergasted to discover Beetlejuice on the other end of the store long balcony with something that looked like a cigar.

"Don't remember."

"The boy has TB and you smoke?!"

"He is not here right now, isn't he? On the other hand, he would've smoked himself to die faster if he could."

"You monster! Don't you have any regard for life at all?! Don't you care in the least bit about his future?!" Lydia yelled joining Ginger and Jacques in their disgust for her now former friend. Using an innocent boy like that! As if he was some toy! Could it be that she herself was only for his amusement? Lydia didn't want to believe that, but she did believe her ears and eyes.

"I've been dead for more than half a millennia, why should I care about life? And Kevin will have a marvelous future. Here. The future he agreed upon three years ago," Beetlejuice stated with such authority that Lydia shivered from head to toe. She could blame the wind, but she knew better. "I don't see why you should care. You will forget it all in a month when you return tomorrow to your friends, dates and whatever you do."

"I don't want to leave," Lydia proclaimed with force enough to convince not only herself but him too.

"Huh?"

"I want in. I want to be able to visit the Neitherworld again. Maybe only once a month but still."

"Till when? Till you try everything to bring Kevin back with you and cure him? He already belongs here, there is no life for him in the world of the living."

Okay, that was a motive too, but she also wanted to know the truth behind Beetlejuice's actions five years ago and the current ones would be good too. And still… with everything in between Lydia Deetz was part of the Neitherworld. She felt it with her very skin. Part of her still belonged here.

"Is it the truth? That those who die here, stay here?"

"Yes."

Lydia tilted her head slightly to the left, full of doubt. Whatever the matter, Beetlejuice had never answered monosyllably. She watched as he puffed out rings of smoke as it was the most natural thing in the afterlife. And then she noticed it – his shoulders were unnaturally tense. "You are lying."

"How should you know?"

"I _know_ you, Beej." '_Even if it really troubles me to discover you can lie to me now._' "I know every wrinkle on your suit."

"Hah! I add new ones regularly," he disagreed quite proud of himself.

"I believe you on this one, but what is the real story behind Kevin's marvelous future?"

Beetlejuice threw a sideway glance which spoke of pure irritation. Lydia looked back with pure determination. She was no child anymore, he couldn't just brush her off. "It goes as he says, it isn't just that simple. That's all," Beetlejuice finally said, putting out the cigar by rubbing it on the balcony railing.

Lydia was not that surprised by such answer. Life told her two things – nothing happens without a reason and nothing comes free. She wondered how those two laws applied to the afterlife. "So?"

"So?"

"Will you tell me how it works?"

"Why should I?"

'_Dammit, you are making it as difficult as possible!_' "I told you, I don't want to leave!" For a moment she felt quite silly, shouting to him over at least fifteen meters. "I really missed you! Missed all of you! I came to apologize but you always disappear and I can't say anything!" Lydia took several deep breaths. Shouting like that in the cold started to take its strain on her. When she didn't hear anything in return Lydia took several steps forward to see his reaction, if he had one, because it turned quite dark outside. To help her, or simply because he wanted to, Beetlejuice lit up another cigar, the fire lightening his face for a split second. His expression was astonishingly impassive, as if saying, 'Well, go on with it.'

Lydia was totally abashed, but continued with her prepared speech that seemed to tear up at the seams with every next word. "I wanted to apologize for what happened five years ago. I should've spent more time with you, because you are my best friend and I had no right to push you away like that. My mind was clouded with anxiety for the future ahead of me and there was, whom was I dating back then?" Lydia asked herself, having no recollection of the guy.

"Henry."

"Yes, Henry. Turned to be a real arse, but that's beside the point. I really should've made some time for you. And I am _really_ sorry. As for today, I just fooled around, I am sorry that it happened to be on your expense." Silence was the response. "Do you forgive me?" she asked, hoping that she didn't sound too desperate.

"I do. If it matters to you that much."

Lydia's knees gave out and only grabbing onto the railing saved her from the fall. She didn't expect hugs and kisses, but a green toothy smile full of bugs would've been more than welcome instead of the deadpan voice in which Beetlejuice 'accepted' her apology. "What is wrong with you?" she breathed out unable to control her tongue or even thoughts for that matter.

"Nothing at all. What gave you the idea?" And then he vanished into the night.

……………….

The next morning Lydia woke up with a headache. Her sleep was light and troubled. Curses and damnations were befalling Beetlejuice the whole night from the wandering guests and it didn't make her sleep any deeper. Somewhere near dawn she heard or maybe dreamed about a commotion beside her balcony door and a threat, 'If I even see you in a ten mile radius of her, I'll personally rip your batty wings out.'

Doomie seemed to have a wonderful night because he was honking and beeping in all possible ways greeting its passengers.

"Rough night?" Kevin asked Lydia with the similar enthusiasm.

"You can say so," Lydia replied in a raspy voice, falling ungracefully onto the back seat.

"Well, I counted the whole night – 1837 victims! A new record! But I am not entirely sure, I seem to doze off a couple of times. Pity BJ wasn't there. Otherwise the figure could be even bigger."

"Then where was he?"

"No idea. He was out of the room the whole night. Maybe visited some ghoul he picked up at the party."

"What?!" That little piece of information made Lydia's mind wide awake.

"Well, you know."

"And does he do that often?"

"Sometimes."

Lydia's thoughts run a mile per second. She remembered Beetlejuice's fruitless attempts to pick up one ghoul or another, and now it seemed that they were not so fruitless anymore. She was so astonished by the whole thing that didn't know how to react to it. The obvious response would be, 'And why should I care?' The same question she asked Beetlejuice when she started dating. And she didn't care on any level that was similar to jealousy, but pure curiosity didn't leave her.

Before Lydia could ask for details, Beetlejuice popped up above Doomie and floated down onto the passenger's seat. "You drive, Kev," he grunted, hitting the dashboard with his forehead.

"Rough night?" Kevin asked again, but this time teasingly.

"Was up all night. Now shut up and drive." Beetlejuice was already snoring a moment later.

The trip back to the Road House was a quiet one. Lydia marveled at Kevin's obedience to Beetlejuice's order. He hadn't uttered a sound the whole way even when Beetlejuice's snores became as loud as volcano eruptions and it would've been impossible to wake him up with some small talk. She wanted to question Kevin upon reaching the house, but glancing at the clock in the garage understood that she had to go back already.

"So when will you come next time, miss Lydia?"

"I don't know, Kevin. Beetlejuice is quite reluctant to renew my ability to come here."

"Why could that be? Hey, BJ! Wake up!" Kevin shouted into the ear of his best friend who was still soundly asleep sucking on his right thumb. When shouting had no effect Kevin shook him, quite unceremoniously in fact.

"Don't even bother if you don't have a dozen of fat beetles," Beetlejuice mumbled still asleep.

"Why don't you want miss Lydia to come again?!" Kevin shouted again.

Fortunately for the boy, that grabbed the poltergeist's attention. "Why does it matter?" he croaked, unclasping one eyelid.

"Because I want her to come, why else would it matter?"

Beetlejuice got out of the car releasing a string of mutterings which Lydia recognized as some very strong curses. "And why would you want that?"

"Why not? The more the merrier, isn't it, BJ?"

Beetlejuice let out a long breath. To Lydia it sounded very close to defeat, making her rejoice inside. So an hour later, Lydia found herself on the curve of the white road that led to a small door in midair.

"I don't want to force you, BJ. If you really don't want me to come, I won't."

"It isn't about you anymore," Beetlejuice grunted, shambling behind her. "Kevin wants you here."

"He has you wrapped around his small finger," Lydia remarked with a chuckle. "You do a lot of things just because he asks you."

"He is my friend," Beetlejuice stated as if it explained everything.

To Lydia it did. "You did a lot of things for me too."

"I did?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not in particular," he said with a frown, as if trying to find a memory, but he just shrugged it off as unimportant the next moment. "You won't be able to call my name, only open the door."

Lydia blinked at the rapid topic change, but dismissed the strange amnesia as an unimportant topic at the moment. "Why?"

"Because I can't be in two places at the same time. Only Kevin can summon me, even if he lives here and doesn't do it."

"Okay. So how will I do it? And is it possible in New York?"

"On any place on the planet. Open your mouth."

"Excuse me?!"

"You need my juice to be able to open the portal."

"But there was nothing like this the first time."

"Well, now things are different," Beetlejuice hissed, clearly getting impatient.

Lydia threw glance back at the Road House. Kevin was running around on the lawn, he stopped from time to time and did a somersault in the air. Lydia noticed something weird about how he did it. He stayed in the air for far too long for it to be an ordinary acrobatic trick, as if the boy was floating… "Does Kevin have your juice too?" she drawled, having an unsettling feeling at her stomach.

"Yes, but for other reasons."

"But why-"

"Listen, woman, do you want to come here again or not?!"

"Yes, but-"

"No buts!"

And then something really strange happened: Beetlejuice grabbed her head and smashed his lips to hers. Before Lydia could register what was going on, something slimy and greasy entered her mouth.

"Now swallow it," Beetlejuice ordered, covering her mouth with his hand.

Lydia's head was spinning wildly, because of the substance in her mouth, the kiss (if that action could be called that) or the general feeling that she was going to be sick. Somehow she moved her throat muscles and the alien lump went down.

"What in the Hell…" Lydia rasped out between rapid breaths.

"I asked you to open you month, but no! Why all women talk so much?" Beetlejuice questioned the sky, turned on his heels and marched towards the house.

Lydia stepped through the small door into her old bedroom that had already changed to normal. Not normal, ordinary. She stumbled towards her bed still dazed by the happenings of the last minutes. Only when she gathered her senses somewhat another abnormality registered in her mind – Beetlejuice's lips were not deadly cold, she still could feel her lips burning.


	5. Chapter 5

During the next several weeks nothing extraordinary happened. Lydia returned to New York where she had her hands full with a new work project, so she didn't had time to even think about visiting the Neitherworld again. Once it was finished, Lydia thought she deserved a break and what better place to spend her free time than the Neitherworld? And right on cue a message appeared on her mirror: Stench Riviera today. Bring bathing suit. Lydia doubted that she would be able to set foot into the 'sea', but tossed her black bikini into her bag. That time she was prepared for two-three days of an impromptu vacation. She concentrated on imagining the triangular door to the world of the dead. It took her fifteen minutes for the door to materialize. The juice seemed not to yet settle perfectly inside her body.

The door opened… and there it was – the Road House once again. And in front of it Beetlejuice was rolling in the air his cackling heard for miles. Why did he acted so stiff around her then?

"What's the excitement about, boys?" she asked, nearing the house.

"Oh we were recalling _once again_ the pranks at the reception," Kevin explained, because he was the one who could form some coherent words in between laughs. "That was one grand scheme! We need to repeat it again! What is next? Beauty contest?"

"Oh yes! We can make all those 'beauties' squirm! They don't have a drop of anything even closely connected to beauty anyway."

Lydia watched as Beetlejuice hang upside down with a straw of grass between his teeth that formed one of his trademark smirks that told anyone looking that you better scatter or something nasty could happen to you. Lydia was far from jealous of the contest's participants.

"So did someone here issue an invitation to the beach? It will be really grand since it is November, but I really doubt that I will be able to put on the bathing suit I took with me."

"With BJ's juice you can do whatever you want here," Kevin reassured. "I do advise you to take shower after though. You know, just in case." By the looks if it, Kevin hadn't had one since the wedding.

……………….

Beetlejuice ended up going even if he declared right away that he had other more important things to attend to so they could splash themselves without His Juiceness. But Kevin had none of it. He was very insistent and persuasive bringing as an argument his plans to have a beetle barbeque just for him. That of course decided the matter. So three boney lounges and Lydia's black bikini later the trio settled on the Stench Riviera 'sandy' beach.

"So since when are you into snakes?" Beetlejuice asked, referring to the snakes' appliqué on her bikini.

Lydia lifted her glasses to check if the question was addressed to her. Since the stunt earlier, Lydia concluded that now Beetlejuice was using an avoiding tactic with her. So now he was talking with her and even paid attention to what she was wearing?

"Well, spiders are classics and all, but snakes have their special grace and beauty of their own. All those different colors and scale patterns! Magnifique!"

"Whatever," Beetlejuice grunted, obviously not sharing her fascination.

Lydia shrugged and ignored him (two can play the game). Instead she moved her attention to Kevin who was jumping the waves (wasn't everything around radioactive?), once again exercising a wondrous ability to make jumps even three meters high.

"What is wrong with Kevin?" she inquired, the ignoring game seemed to be over already.

"First me and now Kev? Who are you? A teacher checking a test?"

Lydia waited for her outfit to change in one of a typical teacher, but nothing happened. Huh? "Obviously he is not acting like an ordinary child."

"An ordinary child here?! That's insulting!"

Lydia had to agree that it was. No simple child could be fascinated with the gross world of the afterlife. "If I didn't know better, I would've said he was flying."

"Then you don't know better," Beetlejuice throw, sending another bug into his mouth. From his satisfied expression Lydia deducted that the barbeque turned out to be a success.

"You mean he is actually flying?!" Lydia exclaimed, sitting up.

"Not yet."

'_Again with the 'not yet' answer. What is going on here?!_' "So it'll happen in a century or so?"

"Who knows? But I believe it will be much sooner."

'_Is it pride I hear?_' "Please, Beetlejuice, can you just tell me?" '_If he says 'Why should I?' I am gonna hit him._'

"Why should I?"

And Lydia hit him on the arm. The effect was far from the desired one. Her whole hand burned. She glanced at Beetlejuice to detect his reaction and saw that he was… scared? '_He must've felt it too. But why? I'll ask him later, now to the more pressing matter._' "I feel for the boy. Since the moment I discovered that he had TB. I am just concerned."

"There is nothing to be concerned about," Beetlejuice grumbled, as if her concern was a person insult to him.

"Of course, he is safe with you and everything, but why cover your relationship with such a mystery?"

"There is no mystery. Everybody knows about it."

"Except me," she wanted to shout, but kept her voice moderate. She didn't remember since when somebody made her so damn frustrated. She would receive a nervous breakdown for sure.

"He is my… how do they put it? Next in line? Next of kin?"

"Kevin is your son?!!" Now she did shout. Thankfully there were no creatures around them to throw her dirty looks for disturbing their peace.

However Beetlejuice did shot her a dirty look. "Are you dense? He is a breather."

'_Keep calm, Lydia. Don't jump to ridiculous conclusions. Of course, Kevin can't be Beetlejuice's son. He is frigging alive! What made me say that?_' "So he is your what?"

"How do you call someone who gets your stuff when you retire?"

"Successor? Heir?"

"Yeah, that."

Lydia's thoughts reeled, but she didn't let them out of her mental control. "You are not working, oh sorry, the W-word," she instantly apologized seeing him cringe, "so where are you retiring from?"

"Oh this and that… Mom and Dad started nagging again, but to the usual, 'Find a job' and 'Clean your room' they are now adding 'Find a good girl to settle with, maybe she will clean after you'. Hah! Like in million years! And I thought they would leave it after Donny got hitched."

"Donny is married?!" '_My, so much happened only in five years I was not here._'

"That goody-goody decided to help the world by taking part in prisoners' rehabilitation. One of the conditions was to marry the prisoner (didn't want them back at any cost, hehe) and he did. A wild cat she is! She is a cat actually! Saint Donny had married a _cat_!"

"He must've had her best interests at heart," Lydia retorted, but was also surprised by the end of the story. The union was most unusual.

"Of course he did!" Beetlejuice agreed, but his going into fit of laughter showed his real thoughts on the situation.

"So about Kevin?" Lydia nudged to return to the previous topic, starting to feel slightly sick by Beetlejuice's sardonical laugh.

"The old folks kept nosing into my afterlife and then that administrative worm, Juno, the smoky bitch, ordered me (ordered _me_, hah!) to provide some 'worthy reason' why I needed a breather in the world of the dead. So I told her the boy would be the next Juice Wielder. That shut her gap and the gap in her throat too. Got him cheap too."

"Cheap?"

"Only four hundred years."'

'_Next juice wilder? Four hundred years?_'

Lydia wanted to question further, but was suddenly blinded by numerous flashes, which turned to be produced by cameras.

"You are just perfect! Absolutely perfect!"

"Perfect for what?" Lydia managed to cut in between the endless reasons of her perfection.

"For the beauty contest of course! Were you not planning on participating?! Unbelievable! Fill in these forms and we are waiting for you to shine on stage in two days!" With that the slug (or was it a snail?) departed with his congregation of photographers and managers.

"You – in the beauty contest?! Don't make me laugh!" But Beetlejuice was laughing already anyway.

"Oh really? You… you… tasteless freak! I'll show you!" Lydia continued muttering threats to Beetlejuice, grabbing her things and he just continued to cackle his head off. She even kicked the said head several times for good measure, but it didn't help. "I'll win and you will eat your words!" With that declaration she stomped off even forgetting to say good bye to Kevin.

"Challenge, you know I love it."

"Arrogance, you know I hate it."

Even with feverish preparations during the next two days, Lydia didn't become Miss Neitherworld. Feeling disgusted by all events of such nature she didn't step down from the challenge, firstly because the beauty contest in the Neitherworld was not like the one in her world, secondly, and most importantly, she wanted to prove Beetlejuice wrong. But since when did it matter to her what he thought about her appearance?

Anyway… Lydia prepared everything well, but lost mostly because of her sudden clumsiness and silly mistakes in the most inappropriate times. Just because she knew that minute or the next Beetlejuice was to execute his scam. She didn't want to fall victim to his yet another prank, and knowing that now they had become far from the innocent tripping or water splashing, she was even more afraid. Really afraid, that's why her concentration was completely askew. The only good thing that came out of the whole ordeal was that Lydia didn't bet anything on her winning, otherwise she would've been really screwed.

She dragged herself to the Road House, totally exhausted from the crazy contest, but couldn't step over the doorstep – the whole living room was covered with money bills.

"Not bad from a single bet, hah?" Beetlejuice chuckled, counting the bills, his pupils – dollar signs. "Kevin was right – it is funnier with you around."

"What is the meaning of this?" Lydia asked with a frown and a dreadful feeling that she had been set up.

"I ran the pools on the winner of the beauty contest. Bet against you of course."

'_So there was a scam… But wait a minute._' "Then everyone else had bet _on_ me for you to win so much."

"But I knew that you knew that nobody else knew. So it was a sure bet."

Lydia felt into his trap without even knowing it – she was the one who knew that Beetlejuice planned to do something and that very knowledge made her loose, and the striped gloater knew it. "How can you play with emotions like that? Don't you have a heart?!"

"I don't."

"What?!" '_Don't have a heart?! But I saw it, talked to it, touched it even!_' "What do you mean you don't have one?"

"It means what it means. Are you that dense to comprehend a single word?"

"You… you… you… filthy heartless bastard!"

"Too true," Beetlejuice responded with a satisfied smirk.

Lydia turned on her heels and stomped out of the house and stormed back home. She had enough of that attitude. The Neitherworld was not worth it if she was treated like that. So why did she feel as if her own heart was stabbed over and over again?


	6. Chapter 6

So how did they end in the current situation? The current situation was a wailing baby Beetlejuice who just didn't stop crying. Lydia didn't already remember what made her yell, 'You are acting like a baby!' It could be anything, Beetlejuice was acting like an overgrown child half of the time. Kevin was just laughing at the whole ordeal not understanding the crucial circumstances – they had to turn him back to normal! But how? And couldn't the baby just shut up for a second for Lydia to gather her wits?

"Don't just stand over there, Kevin, do something. Show some responsibility!"

"Why me? It was you who said the words," the boy retorted.

'I _said the words, but why did it happen? Beetlejuice only transformed on _his _words. Is it because the juice inside me? But the mystery solving can wait, my eardrums are going to burst!_' Lydia took the baby into her arms, rocking him slightly, as she saw mothers did. She knew about babies next to nothing but even she was able to do some basic stuff. "Maybe we should give him to his parents till we find the solution?"

"I doubt BJ will appreciate it," Kevin disagreed with a cringe.

"As if that concerns me," Lydia remarked with a huff.

It didn't, so why was she in the Neitherworld in the first place? After the beauty contest disaster she swore not to come back and had been ignoring all Kevin's mirror invitations for three months. But that didn't mean that she couldn't _think_ about the Neitherworld and its occupants.

One thought was especially bugging: if Beetlejuice continued to act like he did, Kevin would turn into a similar monster and Lydia couldn't allow that to happen. Sick or not, alive or not, Kevin could not be as mean as Beetlejuice, not in that afterlife. She also remembered Ginger's plea for her to help Beetlejuice. Lydia was sure that the old Beetlejuice could be returned if she uncovered what happened five years ago.

She was taken out of her musings but a sharp pain in her nipple. She jumped up almost throwing the baby onto the floor. A tiny pair of hands was on a quest to get into her blouse. "Kevin, does BJ have any bugs' stash around here? The baby might be…hungry." She released another squeak as Beetlejuice pulled onto the other nipple. Why wasn't she wearing a bra that day?

"I get the bugs and you think how to change him back. You just have to say something, like 'You act like a grownup' and that's it, right?"

"Could be." Kevin left for a bug hunt and Lydia put little BJ onto the floor, where he instantly became very interested in the crack between the boards, or most probably what was stuck there. "Fortunately, he doesn't fly around." She instantly covered her mouth, she could say something else, something that could turn the situation into even more unfortunate one. "You are a grownup now," Lydia stated. No result. Only the baby began to wail once again.

"Mummy!!!"

Lydia rushed to aid, discovering BJ has gotten a spinster. "This is turning absurd." She took the baby into her arms and went to look what was taking Kevin so long – the house must be _crawling _with beetles.

"Can't you do something, miss Lydia? The beetles all run away the moment they hear him. Beetle hunt requires complete silence not to mention stealth," Kevin snapped, loosing another beetle from his tactical trap upon Lydia's entering Beetlejuice's bedroom.

"What can I do?"

"You are a woman, right? You must have some motherly instincts or something."

"Well…" '_Kevin is right, I must at least try to calm Beej down_.' "Don't worry, mummy will take care of the boo-boo, but you stay still, okay?" And he did. Lydia's eyes widened in shock – he obeyed her, the Ghost with the Most obeyed _her_. She was taken out of her reverie by a finger being poked into her nose.

The war with the spinster was quick so no more wails from Beetlejuice. "Mummy kiss better!" Lydia rolled her eyes, but kissed the small finger. "BJ loves mummy!"

At that even Kevin momentarily lost interest in his prey. "What was that?"

"Don't fall for the act, Kevin. Babies are all like that, innocent and sweet and when they grow up they turn into outright monsters. Beetlejuice is a perfect example of that evolution. And what's that?" Lydia asked, gesturing to an unfamiliar closet with heavy chains and a padlock on them, which she didn't saw in the darkness on her previous visit.

"No idea. Beetlejuice told everybody not to even touch it."

"Another skeletons' closet?"

"No idea."

Lydia looked around once more, rocking the baby to keep him distracted. There were some additions, but she was more surprised but what she didn't find in the room. None of her photos as in the whole house, and the grand mirror was missing too. "How do you write messages to me if there is no mirror here?"

"I have one in my room. Can you believe it? When I asked BJ how he communicated with you, he had no clue about it. It was Jacques who told me to use a mirror. Aha!" The cry of victory was followed by presenting the baby with a fat beetle which he instantly consumed. "His head doesn't seem to have room for anything but money."

"What happened to the winnings, by the way?"

"Well, most of it went for to the house."

"House?"

"Well, he had a promise with Ginger and Jacques that they would buy the house out on the first opportunity, so they did."

"He kept a promise?"

"Well, not willingly of course. But it sorted a lot of problems with the landlord. So the Road House is totally ours now. BJ also bought me this." Kevin took out a silver chain form under his shirt and Lydia gasped seeing the letters hanging from it: BJ&KEV=FRIENDSTODEATH. "For our anniversary. I gave him a tie."

"A tie?"

"Year, a flashing one. Looks really cool in a nightclub or a party."

"A nightclub?"

"Year, Beetlejuice goes, sometimes."

"Looks like Beetlejuice has one Hell of a private life," Lydia remarked bitterly.

"Why not? Everyone has a right to have one."

"Indeed," Lydia agreed, but her heart was torn. She clearly remembered all those discussions she had with Beetlejuice about her having a private life of her own. He didn't remember her much, but he seemed to remember those talks very well acting upon them. And why shouldn't he? He was free from any kind of obligations, he was free form her to whom he had no obligations either. It still hurt though. And Lydia couldn't pinpoint the exact reason. Was it because Beetlejuice had no memories of the years they'd spent together? Because he tossed her aside like some insignificant part of his eternal afterlife?

"You know, maybe you should apologize for calling him a baby?" Kevin suggested.

Lydia instantly felt as the baby grew heavier. "You must be kidding me. Why should I apologize, he totally deserved it!"

"This is possible, but do you really want to nurse Beetlejuice for who knows how long?"

"You are probably right. Beetlejuice, I am sorry for accusing you of acting like a baby, you… don't do it," Lydia recited in a flat tone. Nothing happened.

"You need to put more feeling into it."

Lydia rolled her eyes, thinking the whole situation was still completely ridiculous, but complied. It took her saying the same phrase eight times for Beetlejuice to re-grow into adulthood. For a split moment Lydia thought it was another trick on his part, but his first words proved her wrong.

"What are we all doing in my room?"

For another split second Lydia noticed Beetlejuice glancing at the chained closet, at her and then onto the floor. That glance was full of pain and fear. What could that mean?

……………..

"Lydia!!!"

Lydia set up straight on her bed. That dream again. She couldn't call it a nightmare, because there was nothing horrible or scary about it. But that scream still haunted her. Has been for a month. Lydia still thought that the whole situation was laughable. She was in no danger, she didn't even fall from the cliff, just rolled on the ground not more than ten meters. Yes, it hurt like Hell, because of the branches and twigs and all possible other things in the Neither Woods, but nothing life threatening.

It was Beetlejuice who cried out. Five and a half years ago she would've considered it totally normal. He always cried out her full name when she was in danger on when he was in desperate need for help. But now, when they were hardly on friendly terms… Yes, they were civil enough, but Beetlejuice shared jokes only with Kevin, so it usually happened that Lydia was mostly a tag along 'because Kevin thought it would be more fun with her', which it usually wasn't, to her anyway. And then that hike plan came up.

Lydia decided to participate to stretch her limbs after finishing another long project. So when she got back up on the cliff wanting to say something like, 'You could've helped instead of just standing here', her words died in her throat upon seeing the state Beetlejuice was in. He was shaking, his hand on his chest, as if he was going to have a heart attack. His eyes were full of pure fear. Fear for _her_ life. Lydia wanted to ask if he was okay, but he disappeared the moment she stepped towards him.

A month passed since that hike and there was no contact from the world of the dead. Lydia wanted to go herself to check on things and whatnot. She was worried about Beetlejuice, she was sure something was not right with him. She thought like that at the very beginning because of his attitude towards her, but now she was sure. Something was amiss about him. And the fact that he had no heart… Kevin confirmed it, saying that he saw Beetlejuice come apart at least ten times and heart was not among the pieces. But how could it be?! Beetlejuice needed heart for his juice to work, for him to exist! Lydia remembered when his body parts were placed into different parts of the Neitherworld by his enemies. He would've evaporated in a _day_ if the parts hadn't been put together again. And Mister Big had the heart. Lydia saw it with her own eyes. So where could it go? He couldn't just lose it, could he?

Lydia already was in bed when she heard a knock on a window. She threw a glance at her window. She had an apartment on the fourth floor, who in his right mind would throw stones at her window in the middle of the night? The knock repeated, but she didn't notice any motion by the window. And then she got it, not the window – the glass. She was in seconds by her vanity table mirror. However the one looking at her was not Beetlejuice. He looked a lot like him though: unruly white hair, dark circles around the eyes (his were lilaceous), a wide grin, but Lydia couldn't determine if the teeth were also uneven and green.

"Hello, miss Lydia."

"Kevin?"

"Yep. Did I wake you up?"

"Yes, but it's okay. Are you?..."

"Yep, I am as good as dead. Two weeks already."

"Two weeks… I wish I could be there," Lydia said with sympathy.

"What for? I had no funeral."

"To lesser your sufferings, hold your hand…"

"No need. BJ somehow felt that it was time and sent me to my room. One moment I was alive and the other wasn't, nothing melodramatic. I actually thought there would be some TB crisis, but nothing happened. The juice must've helped with that too."

"I am glad then. I think," Lydia said, hesitant about how to talk about the topic. As Ginger said, 'Death is personal.' "Do you use it already?"

"The juice? Not yet. It still grows. But I am floating already!" Kevin announced with pride. "Beej teaches me something new every day."

"You look a lot like him now, like you are… related."

"Yeah, it's kinda cool, isn't it? Juno said the same thing. But I think it is the other way around, Beetlejuice must've looked like me when he was alive, blond hair and everything. I won't mind him being my great-great-great ancestor of course. It's good that the juice inside me prevented my rebirth in this world. I could've ended on the other end of the Neitherworld."

"Rebirth?"

"Well, I was supposed to appear as a newborn in some family and then grow up, but I remained here with BJ. Being Nexty, as BJ calls me, does have its advantages, I even cut the line to Juno's office. Inspected me like prize animal, really," he complained with a huff.

Lydia chuckled at his show of abused dignity. "So did you pass the inspection?"

"Seemed so. Ordered me not to turn out as crazy as Beetlejuice and talk to you actually."

"To me? But I and thus Juno person have never met." '_She must've known about me as the only breather in the Neitherworld, but she can't know anything about my personality, right? Why would she be even interested?_'

"Well, she said so. That's why I am calling. BJ is leaving for three days and I wonder if you have some spare time to babysit me."

"Aren't you old enough not to need a babysitter?"

"Well yeah, but it will be extremely boring without him and Doomie, so you could keep me company."

"Where is he going for so long?"

"Las Vigorous."

"Does it have any semblance to Las Vegas?"

"One and only. Casinos, marriage chapels and flashing lights," Kevin answered, his look wishful.

"Yes, Kevin, I'll come tomorrow in the morning, okay?"

"Perfect," Kevin agreed with a wide smile, confirming Lydia's guess about his teeth: they were indeed uneven, but not green, yet at least.


	7. Chapter 7

With a bag packed for three days Lydia pulled the scull string to the Road House. The door was opened by Kevin who quickly ushered her inside and into his room.

"What's the hurry?" Lydia asked, looking around the middle sized room where she stepped into for the first time. It was a typical teenager room with its typical disorder. The only unusual thing was the bed – it was huge and took half of the room. At least five Kevins could've slept in there.

"BJ has one of his sore moods again. That's why he is leaving to blow the cobwebs from his mind. I doubt any vacuum cleaner could manage the task, but he believes into the mighty power of fun. He has been acting strange lately. Especially after that hike."

"What do you mean?" Lydia asked, intently listening. Firstly, she thought Beetlejuice was acting strange, and now Kevin? But maybe what was strange to him was not to Lydia?

"I don't know. It is like he is fidgeting or something. Like something is after him. Of course, I am no judge, but to me it looks like he is fighting something but looses. And those losses make him all cranky. And then his juice flairs which makes him even angrier."

"He doesn't hit you, does he?" Lydia asked alert, mistaking worry in Kevin's eyes for fear. It could be fear, but not for himself, for his best friend.

"Of course not, what a ridiculous idea!" Kevin replied with a smile. "But I really wish you to help me to understand what's going on."

"But why me? It could be Jacques or Ginger, they watch him every day."

"Because it worsens after _your_ visits."

"Oh."

……………….

"Oh. I didn't know you were here."

Lydia raised her head from Monopoly board. She was about to pay yet another fee to Kevin (the boy could have made a good realtor if he had grown up) when Beetlejuice appeared in the door frame. "Kevin invited me to keep him company while you are away."

"No need. I am taking him with me," Beetlejuice informed her coldly.

"Why don't you take miss Lydia with you? She hasn't ever been to Las Vigorous. I am underage and you'll get in trouble and your vacation will be spoiled. Not to mention I have no luck with money."

Lydia glanced at the board where everything was bought by the boy and raised an eyebrow. For some reason she felt she was being set up. She gave him a pointed look as if saying, 'What are you talking about?' Receiving in return a mouthed 'help him', she turned to look at Beetlejuice who was undergoing some mental struggle.

"Okay, get in the car. Those luck girls always get all my money anyway," he muttered the last sentence as a justification for his actions.

"But I don't have anything to wear, not to mention any money," Lydia started to protest, but Kevin already brought her up from the floor and was pushing her towards the garage.

Lydia was tossed onto the passenger seat and her bag - into the trunk. The second later they were on the highway. Doomie was beeping happily, excited about going on high speed. Beetlejuice swung his legs onto the dashboard and closed his eyes with intention to take a nap, letting Doomie to drive to their destination on his own; the car was obviously familiar with the route. Lydia was not planning on staying mute however.

"Since when do you have spare money for gambling?"

"Good investments," Beetlejuice grunted in reply.

"Investments?!" Now that was quite a shock. Beetlejuice NEVER bothered with long-term money making. A bulk of cash here, another one there, nothing serious to deal with the next day.

"Yeah. Don't understand why I didn't think of it earlier. I do nothing, but money comes to me non-stop."

"And what kind of fortunate business did you invest in?"

"Casinos."

"Huh? You receive the dividends from the casinos and then loose the same money in the same casinos?"

"Not me alone. Casino always wins, it's the golden rule here too, I also win at times."

"But why don't you spend money on something more useful? Like Kevin's clothes for example. Those rags are horrible!"

"He likes those rags."

"He liked the tuxedo too."

Beetlejuice finally opened his eyes and pinned her with a glare full of irritation. "If you gonna bug me the whole three days, I prefer to drop you on the next bus station. He will get his clothes at the right time. These things don't work here like in your world. So don't pretend you understand anything since you took some trips around here."

Lydia pouted with indignation, but knew that he was right. Yes, she saw a lot of places in the Neitherworld, but she had no idea how it _worked_. "Kevin told me-"

"He shouldn't have," Beetlejuice interrupted. "The balance must be preserved."

"He didn't mention any specifics. But still, you should've been beside him. I am sure he was scared to die. Everybody is."

"Kev wasn't scared. He dreamed of dying the first time he coughed blood. It was more than five years ago."

"That's how you found him, right? He wanted in."

Beetlejuice shrugged. "That too."

"What else?"

"Why such interest?"

"I want to know him. He is your best friend, I want to know why. I also grew to like him."

"You want to know what he has that you don't?"

Lydia sucked in air. That was sharp, more importantly it was the sharp truth. She was not jealous of Kevin, she just wanted Beetlejuice to treat her the same. She hasn't changed _that_ much since the time of their friendship. Of course, she was more mature, but that didn't mean she was no fun anymore. "I just wanted to know why him. Why not someone… like me."

"Because he is a boy. Girls have… disadvantages."

"What could those be?" Lydia inquired slightly hurt by such disposition.

"Just disadvantages. I thought they wouldn't arise with you, but was unfortunately mistaken."

'_Now we are getting somewhere. I must find out what those disadvantages were, then I may find out why he broke up our friendship so abruptly._' She wanted to pry more into the topic, but noticed his tensed posture and decided to postpone it. Otherwise the small vacation would be ruined without even beginning.

……………..

Las Vigorous looked very much like Las Vegas even if Lydia visited the grand city only once. Despite daytime, the streets were busting with ghouls. Some looked like they had won a lot the night before, some – like they had nothing to lose and some – like they hadn't anything at all anymore.

Doomie parked near one of the hotels that looked nothing like shabby. Lydia even saw five stars beside the name of the hotel. Beetlejuice jumped out of the car and headed towards the main entrance. With nothing better to do, Lydia grabbed her bag and followed him. The doors opened automatically and Beetlejuice strolled in like he owned the place.

"Mister Beetlejuice, what pleasure to see you here again," the receptionist, who looked like a creepy doctor fond of unethical experiments, greeted with a strangled smile, which could hardly hide his wish for Beetlejuice to be _anywhere_ but at the current hotel. "Your usual suite?" Beetlejuice grunted his approval. "And the lady? Does she require-"

"The lady is with me and doesn't require anything," Beetlejuice stated with authority.

"But you know that our hotel has a reputation, we can't-"

"Posh, I know exactly what reputation it has," Beetlejuice spat, and quite literally too, throwing several bills. The green paper disappeared before the bills even hit the counter.

"Have you just bribed the manager for us to have one room?" Lydia whispered while they were going upstairs. Despite having five stars on the front, the hotel décor looked to be at least five hundred years old with cobwebs, squeaking floor boards and an occasional rat running down the hall. Lydia could only label it as 'an extremely cool place'.

"It is a lot cheaper."

"But we can't be in one room," Lydia stated as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Who said anything about one _room_?" Beetlejuice pushed an old crooked door and they entered the 'suite.'

"Deadly woo," Lydia breathed out, examining the living room she was standing in. Yes, the fabrics were mold beaten and the furniture was cracked in some places and unsteady, but the only thought that it was all genuine, coming from the times of the Tudors…

Beetlejuice neck snapped turning on 180 degrees. "What did you just say?"

"It is very beautiful. Do you always stay here?"

"Yeah," he answered distantly, as if something was on his mind. "I own this place. Unfortunately they clean it up. Reputation and what not. Hah, their reputation stinks almost as much as me! We have a long night ahead, I am going for some shut eye." His eyelids turned into blinds and rolled themselves down. "You better do it too."

"What exactly I am supposed to do tonight? I've been in a casino before, but with friends and only for fun."

"You must bring me luck," Beetlejuice only said disappearing behind one of the doors that led out of the living room.

Lydia tried the door on the other side of the room and it revealed a bedroom. So the beds were separate after all. How was she supposed to feel about it? Happy, relieved, disappointed?

She woke up several hours later by the noise from the living room. Lydia freshened up in the adjoined bathroom and reentered the small living room. Beetlejuice was flipping through the channels, looking totally bored. Moreover, he didn't look like himself at all. Lydia knew her friend well enough to understand that he was distraught about something. But what?

"Get ready, we are leaving soon," he ordered, not even turning to face her.

"I don't have any change of clothes as I've already told you. I thought you would juice something up."

Beetlejuice stood up grunting like an old and sick man. It seemed that conjuring an evening gown for her was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment.

"What's wrong?" Lydia asked, coming close to his slumped figure.

"Nothing's wrong," he mumbled turning away to stare at the window.

"You are not glad to be here. I can see it with my own eyes. Is it because of me? I can leave right away if you want."

"I don't. I think."

"Why did you run away from the Road House?"

"I didn't run anywhere!" Beetlejuice exclaimed retreating towards the window, putting several meters between them.

"I am not a kid anymore, BJ. Yes, I am still young, but I had my ups and downs and I know what is to feel lost, depressed or simply miserable. And don't argue, you are acting exactly like this. Even Kevin noticed it. Your coming here is a natural reaction to run away from your problems, but they seem to haunt you here too. Just tell me, maybe I can help somehow."

"You think you have more life experience than I?" BJ asked slightly bitter.

"Of course not!" she denied, remembering that he was more than six hundred years old. But during her speech she somehow converted him into an ordinary person with worldly problems. She momentarily forgot he was the Ghost with the Most and he couldn't be bothered by some petite inconveniences like loneliness or hurt or indecision. Or could he? "I was just suggesting that I can lend you an ear."

"Thanks, two is quite enough."

Lydia couldn't help but smile at an innocent joke. His mood must be lifting up if he started to crack jokes. She also understood that the topic was closed. Well, she offered her help and it was refused. Didn't mean she was going to give up. But it was advisable to take a tactical retreat for now. "Does your juice let me eat this world's food too? Because I am kinda hungry."

"I've been wanting to get something crunchy myself," Beetlejuice said, snapping with his teeth. As if some switch was turned inside him, Beetlejuice turned into his funky self.

He sent a bolt of juice her way and Lydia suddenly felt as if there was daft in the room. And that was because she felt naked! She cautiously looked down and released a sigh of relief – she was only half naked. She was wearing a long shiny blood red dress with completely open back and the neckline was so low that it was brushing her nipples. It was hard to understand how the dress was not falling down, since there were no straps or anything holding it on her petite figure.

"I actually wanted to ask you for something more covering. The black dress from the last time wasn't exactly comfortable."

"It's the fashion here."

"Like Hell," Lydia protested, seeing that he was simply mocking her. But why in this manner?

"Not at all. Everybody there just go stark naked. It's too hot there to bother with clothes."

For a moment, Lydia believed Beetlejuice to be serious, as if he really travelled to Hell, but his wide smirk told her he was just messing around with her. Again. "Okay, being in the Neitherworld do as the ghouls do. Let's be fashionable. But can you at least add some straps? I feel it will fall the moment I make a step. And maybe a capote of some sort? I am afraid I will freeze to death while you were playing the night away."

"Freeze? Beside me? I highly doubt it."

'_What was that supposed to mean?_' Lydia contemplated, watching as Beetlejuice's suit changed into a black one with white thin stripes, the shirt became red, and the tie – white. But she could not spare another second on thinking about his reasoning, because they appeared in the lobby of a restaurant. Lydia blinked several times. She didn't remember even being touched by Beetlejuice to teleport her, and since when could he do that? Lydia assessed the situation: they were standing before the maitre d' of the restaurant which certainly was not in the hotel they were staying and Beetlejuice was discussing something with him, possibly the seating arrangements; she also noticed that now the dress had straps over her shoulders and several crisscross straps across her shoulder-blades. To her immense surprise, a black fox boa was dropped leisurely over her shoulders.

"Are you showing off?" Lydia asked after they were seated behind a table for two.

"What gave you the idea?"

Lydia stroked the fur as to prove her point.

"We are among rich people, so we are acting as such. Don't you like it?"

Lydia recalled as years ago Beetlejuice became reach and they went to the resort for the richest people of the Neitherworld. They escaped from there, because they were disgusted by the stuffiness of the inhabitants, and now the same Beetlejuice was indulging in the lifestyle he hated, the spark of mischief nonexistent. But he was not the same anymore. And that simple question… It caught Lydia off guard. She did like it. She decided to forget all her doubts and guesses about Beetlejuice's attitudes and reasons behind them. She will accept him as he is. Like she always did.

"I really like the outfit, but it seems to miss something."

"It won't, if you are a good girl and bring a lot of cash for me."

"I'll try," Lydia promised, but she had no idea how she would fulfill that promise. She has never been especially lucky by nature. "What do you play exactly?"

"Everything."

..........................

Beetlejuice was not kidding. He indeed played everything. Starting from the one-handed bandits (who were actually real bandits with three balls instead of eyes and yapped quite loudly when the players pulled their arms. They also didn't forget to say all kinds of 'encouraging' words when the player lost and sent quite a row of curses if he managed to win), roulette (with colors gross and grime instead of black and red. Lydia didn't get which was which on the field, even if they won quite a fortune there), wheel of misfortune (where the winning fields let you simply leave in one piece), Black Jack (the cards were dealed by a totally black ghoul) and last but not least poker. In the beginning of the night Lydia didn't have the slightest idea how that game would turn out for the two of them.

Entering yet another casino Beetlejuice proceeded with the ritual he did in every casino they visited, namely leaving his feet with the chief manager. "So I won't cheat with my juice," Beetlejuice explained to Lydia in the very first gaming-house they entered. She instantly wanted to retort that his juice using ability was just fine with only his feet missing, but hold her tongue. She seemed to be the only one to know that and it was definitely better that way for all involved. Except for the casino owners of course, but who cared about them? Lydia was not good at math, but cheating or not, Beetlejuice's balance was quite positive.

"What is that?" Lydia asked as they neared a long table with sticks fencing around it.

"Poker table," Beetlejuice answered with a smirk of a predator.

The pokes moved welcoming them into the circle of the players. There were eight of them, mostly skeletons. There was one player however who sent shivers down Lydia's spine – a big angry looking bull. It was hard to forget someone who dragged you down to the altar. Lydia hoped that he didn't remember her or recognized her for that matter.

Lydia and Beetlejuice took seats in surprisingly comfortable armchairs and Beetlejuice was dealed his first round.

"Hello there, Beetlejuice," the bull greeted the new comer with the malice that showed he considered Beetlejuice his personal rival.

"Hello to you too, Bully," Beetlejuice responded, confirming Lydia's fears of the bull being Bully the Crud.

With the game continuing on Lydia turned to her pastime of the night – watching the other players. She had nothing else to do, since her being 'the luck girl' had no specification about actions to bring the said luck. She watched Beetlejuice too of course and discovered, to her astonishment, that he was a very quiet player and winner even more so. She imagined him running all over the ceiling in case he won a lot of cash. But no, he just gathered the chips with a chuckle under his breath as it was the most normal occurrence. As if he was destined to win. Always.

The other poker players were not so confident. All male ghouls had a female companion beside them, who encouraged and advised; the female players, if alone, usually clenched something in their hands. Luck seemed to be an essential part of gambling in the Neitherworld. The train of Lydia's thought stopped on its tracks when she was suddenly shoved to the side.

"What's the big idea?" she heard Beetlejuice exclaim while she was sprawled on the floor. She looked up and saw a huge pole in the place she was a second ago. Another rule of the Neitherworld poker required the winner to poke anyone of the side of players who lost. By an unspoken default it meant the players who lost, not the one who were with them. "Do you need to check your eyes?!"

"What's the difference?" Bully asked with an indifferent shrug.

'_I am frigging alive, that's the difference_,' Lydia thought, her heart going two miles a minute. '_But you are not supposed to know that, that's the problem._' "Thanks," she muttered, getting back into the chair.

There was no reaction from Beetlejuice, his poker face staid in place. The game and poking continued at the same pace, but Lydia felt bull's eyes on her at least half the time. She was not alien to male attention, but that one was definitely not desirable.

Bully and Beetlejuice reached yet another stalemate. Since the accidental poking aka Lydia's almost death the game turned almost only between them and Bully was generally on the losing end.

"Bet the girl," the bull barked.

"What girl?" Beetlejuice asked, looking at his cards, which were not bad, but not that good either.

"In the red dress."

"What red dress?"

"The one beside you, you dolt!"

"If she is beside _me,_ why should I bet her?"

"Why not? You've won a lot already. It won't hurt you to give me her for just a night, right?"

"I don't share my luck. Call," Beetlejuice closed the topic, throwing several chips onto the betting pile. All participants knew that they were not talking about luck at all.

Bully grated his teeth and folded. Lydia unknowingly moved closer to Beetlejuice, seeing as the bull's yellow eyes were not leaving her at all.

"What about a kiss?" Bully pressed.

Beetlejuice started to retort, but Lydia stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "A kiss won't hurt, BJ. Maybe he will get lost after that," she whispered into his ear so nobody else could hear.

"Do they usually do that?" BJ asked with a distant glance. Lydia wanted to clarify who 'they' were, but he went on, "I can make him win."

Receiving Lydia's affirmation Beetlejuice juiced Bully's cards on the next deal. "The winner gets the girl's kiss," BJ announced.

Bully flashed his Royal Flash right away. Lydia rounded the table, took the bull's muzzle gently into her hands and pecked him on the nose. She departed before the enraged bull could grab her and claim what he, in his opinion, deserved.

"There were no specifications," Beetlejuice stopped Bully's coming protests.

"Then another bet! But a real kiss this time. No cheating, juicing or luck helpers!" Bully roared, slamming the table with such force that the chips' columns fell apart.

Lydia's blood turned to ice, but she knew that resisting was futile, so she stood up and took position in between Bully and Beetlejuice. '_Whoever wins, this will be the last game. I am dragging BJ out of here no matter what he says. Why did I agree? Must be the influence of the fourth… or is it fifth glass of martini? I can't even imagine how gross kissing this bull will be. But what about Beej? He claims to be the grossest creature here. But- _'

"Three of a kind," Bully the Crud proclaimed confident in his victory.

"Four of a kind," Beetlejuice said, opening his cards.

"Crud!" Bully roared standing up and breaking the table in half. Lydia fled to hide behind Beetlejuice seeking protection on some female instinct. "What are you waiting for? Kiss that scum already!" he bellowed, eyes turning red.

Lydia took a deep breath and turned to Beetlejuice, but he floated out of her range. '_What does that suppose to mean?_' Lydia thought confused. She took a step towards him, but he moved again.

"What's with you? I don't remember you being so afraid of any ghoul you brought here before." Bully asked not forgetting to add insulting laughter.

Beetlejuice turned his attention to Bully to redeem his dignity and Lydia seized her moment. She quickly closed the distance between them, grabbed him by the lapels and brought his lips to hers. The kiss was extremely brief but not only her lips but whole Lydia's body burned as if her blood was on fire.

"Take the money, we are out of here," she breathed out, swaying slightly. If her gaze hadn't been as blurry, she could've noticed that Beetlejuice looked even worse for wear.


	8. Chapter 8

It was near dawn when Lydia woke up in the bedroom of the hotel suite. She didn't question her way of moving here, or even her wearing beetle patterned pajamas. What really interested her was what happened during the kiss. Why did it affect her that way? Why was Beetlejuice moving away from her? Was he disgusted by the mere thought of kissing her? But he did it when he transferred his juice into her, so… But that was only out of necessity… '_Damn, he is so confusing, if only I could look into his mind… Wait a minute! I can go into his mind. The previous time I ended up there because of BJ's words, but now I can control his transformations too, so maybe…_' "I want to be in Beetlejuice's mind."

Lydia felt an extremely strong pull somewhere to the right and a moment later she found herself in darkness. "It must be dark because he is sleeping," Lydia concluded while looking around. The previous time she had BJ's conscious as her guide, but now she was on her own. There was a small lit up opening to her left so she headed there. Halfway to her destination, Lydia was thrown to the side and then tumbled downwards and then upwards again. '_Is BJ turning in his sleep? Or maybe he is having a nightmare? Being here I could see it and maybe understand his disposition towards me. But firstly, get some steady ground under my feet._'

Luck seemed to be on her side here too, so the darkness threw her out near the place she wanted to see most – her shrine. But by the looks of it, it could be freely named Lydia's _former_ shrine. The stairs were half crumbled, but Lydia still managed to get up to the top where her portrait was supposed to be. It was there, but a huge crack run across it. Over it ran a waterfall with no river in sight. "Strange. I understand that the shrine was destroyed because of Kevin's appearance, but what is with this waterfall? It just flows with no further destination." But then Lydia glanced at the portrait again and gasped – the waterfall was erasing the colors! Little by little, by half of the portrait has already been turned into a blank canvas.

"Is this the reason why BJ doesn't remember our time together? But the half of the picture is still intact, he must remember at least half of eight years, but he doesn't remember the basic stuff! So this is not the reason then. And what's with this strange smell?" Lydia neared the waterfall and put her hand into the water. The fluid resembled water, but it was not. She took a handful and tasted it: it was salty. "Do nature laws apply here and that means that the waterfall can be only on rivers? Or they don't and the salt's presence can have whatever possible reason?" Lydia signed and went downstairs. Beetlejuice seemed to be even more a mystery from the inside than he was on the outside.

Lydia managed to catch BJ's train of thought and travelled further. She didn't see Kevin's shrine, but what she saw were completely white places scattered all around the mind. As if someone just cut out pieces of BJ's mind. The train had no definite direction since Beetlejuice was sleeping, but Lydia still hoped that she could catch a glimpse of Beetlejuice's dream. And she did. The next moment a huge screen appeared above her. The moment she saw the dream, a wave of nostalgia hit her. It was the dream about Lydia and the gang travelling to the Wizard of Ooze. She recalled how disgusted Beetlejuice was that it happened to be his dream and not hers. But why was he having it now? And more importantly, why did he treat it as a nightmare?

"Is it that painful for him to remember me? But why? We had so much fun together. He could remember me and spend time with Kevin just the same. Maybe he didn't want to compare? It could make Kevin jealous, I suppose, but still it is too cruel. To him, to me. Why was he so certain that I would never come back? He was and is my closest friend. Why lose faith in me to such degree? I must go to BJ's memory bank, maybe there I will know why he doesn't remember me."

As easy done as said. The next moment she was in the white room where two lines of creatures in white stood handing memories to the 'bank' workers. Everything looked totally normal except for one of the safes. It was securely shut and had yellow police 'do not cross' lines all over the door. There was a small crack in the door however and pictures seemed to be slipping out of it. Lydia picked one of the pictures: it had Lydia on it when she was fifteen, at her birthday party in the Neitherworld. There was no doubt anymore – the closed safe had all Beetlejuice's memories about their years of their friendship. Her reappearance must've made the safe crack. So if she opens the safe, BJ will remember her and be the same friend she had before! Lydia touched the yellow line to remove it, but stopped. "There must be a reason for it. Beetlejuice must release these memories himself. I don't have any right to push him like this." She stepped from the safe, noticing threatening glances from the white creatures, Beetlejuice protected his secrets with vigilance. "Out of sight, out of mind."

In a whirl of wind she reappeared in the bedroom. She had no choice but to return to bed, her questions remaining with question marks.

…………...

"Where are we going?"

"Don't you remember? I told you that if you'd be a good lucky girl, you'll complete your outfit."

"So I brought you enough luck?" Lydia asked doubtful. She certainly did nothing special the previous night.

"Yes, I doubled my money. If kisses could be converted into money it would've been even more, but unfortunately…"

Lydia waited for an awkward silence, but none came. The kiss seemed to mean nothing to Beetlejuice. Just a matter of payment. Lydia couldn't even start to think about it being a good or a bad thing. "Did I… faint last night?"

"Pretty much."

"Why?"

"How should I know? It was you who fainted!"

'_But it was you who had that effect on me_.' "So where are we going again?"

"To buy something for your today's dress."

"Which will be?.." Lydia asked offhandedly, looking into the shops they were speedily passing. Beetlejuice seemed to have an exact shop in mind.

"Black, I think. Not to stand out that much. If you don't want the repetition of the last night, that is."

"Meaning? You think it was the red dress that affected the bull?" Lydia asked, slightly offended. She thought that it was her attractiveness that was the reason.

"What else? But if you want to bet your kisses left and right, I don't mind." Lydia's heart leaped at the thought that he didn't mind her kissing him, but he spoiled everything by saying, "But you better bet them on your own cards. Oh, here we are."

Lydia was not exactly surprised when they entered a jewelry store. Diamonds were not her friends and she didn't like jewelry in a conventional way, only if it was something really unusual. So she informed Beetlejuice of the fact.

"If you don't want anything then I'll just save some good money."

'_How typical of him_.'

"But since you put a record, you deserve some knick-knacks."

Lydia looked around the store. It was clearly not an ordinary jewelry store. There were all possible kinds of jewelry from not only all centuries but all possible eras. Cleopatra's tiara? Maria Antoinette's necklace? Earrings of Elizabeth I? No problem. And there were no price tags on the pieces. Lydia spent two hours choosing one piece and not a whole box of jewelry while Beetlejuice floated around looking totally bored. Finally she had chosen a sapphire necklace and a silver hair pin which she felt in love with the moment she saw it. The seller wrapped the pieces after Beetlejuice wordlessly paid not even looking at what he was buying.

"I hope you will come again sometime," the seller said when they were leaving.

"I hope not," Beetlejuice grunted under his breath.

"Why, BJ? It's a wonderful shop."

"The prices are as if he is selling the world's wonders."

"I am sorry if I inconvienced you."

"No matter." Beetlejuice made a dismissing gesture, closing the topic.

"You know, I was wondering… You are pretty famous around the Neitherworld, right?"

"Of course I am! How can you even doubt it?!"

"So the casino owners asked you to remove your feet on the very first visit?" The sharky smirk was the answer she needed. "So I can assume that you juiced your way to winning in every way and place possible? And when the casinos discovered that you actually cheated, they demanded the money back, and you gave it back but in the way of investing into their businesses?"

"Scamming, you know I love it. But I didn't juice my way to winning, I juiced others' to lose."

"Smart move."

"Of course it was. It was my idea after all!"

The day unfolded pretty much the same as the previous one. They dined in one of the restaurants, changed (even if in a black and very covering dress, Lydia was a head turner wherever they went) and hit the casinos. This time Beetlejuice let her play a bit, but no kisses were betted. There were a lot of those who desired, but their pleads were ignored. Luck worked well for both of them.

"My back aches from all this sitting," Lydia complained in the morning of the third day. "Can we, for example, go dancing in the evening and stay in the casinos only during the day hours?"

Beetlejuice looked deep in thought, considering her proposal, the same as he looked when Kevin suggested her coming with him to Las Vigorous.

"I don't see why not," he drawled, but Lydia could clearly see doubt and even fear in his eyes.

'_What is he always afraid of?_' "Can I choose the color today?"

"Whatever."

"White then."

"White?!"

"Yeah. It is not exactly my color, but I want to have something white today, I don't know why."

"Is your clock ticking?" Beetlejuice asked with a smirk.

"It's nothing like that!" Lydia protested. "I don't want to marry right now."

"You were engaged."

"Well, we've never made it to the altar, so it was not meant to be."

"Say what you wish."

Lydia felt she was very near to losing her temper, but she got a hold of herself. "I want to ask you something."

"Shot."

"Have you ever considered me to be your Nexty?" Lydia asked, dodging a rubber bullet.

"Never."

"Why?"

"You are a girl."

"And have disadvantages?"

"Only boys can be Juice Wielders."

"And why this discrimination?"

"The tradition is eternity old."

"As if someone like you will stick to an old tradition."

Beetlejuice bowed thanking for the compliment. "You are right, but there were a lot of crazy ones before me. So they tried. The original wielder plants his juice into his successor who is usually very young, could be even a toddler. If the girl was only a kid she just blew up to smithereens, if she was already a woman then the planted juice didn't go into contact with her body and developed as an independent entity and that didn't end good either – the mother usually died."

"Mother? You mean, women become pregnant?"

"Sort of. The juice can't exist without a body, so the baby disappeared the moment it was 'born' taking the mother with it."

Lydia paled. "Then I am-"

"Of course not! The amount of juice inside you is a drop in the ocean comparing to what even Kevin has right now."

She sighed with relief. "So I am not pregnant?"

"Of course not. There can be only one Ghost with the Most."

"Another eternal tradition?"

"Exactly. The stuck ups in administration want the Neitherworld to exist. In one piece too."

"With two Beetlejuice's it would be double trouble."

"Sounds good but I prefer no competition. So is it still white?"

"Yes."

The day passed in a fantastic swirl. They played and danced and then played some more, and danced some more. In the late evening they checked out of the hotel and went to the parking lot to get into Doomie and get back. Near the car a frog-looking ghoul was waiting for them, he pushed envelopes into their hands and departed chuckling all the way.

"Oh how thoughtful!" Lydia exclaimed looking into the envelopes. There were photos of their outings, even several from their dancing and of course 'the kiss' was also fixed in history.

"Of course he is, put the bill in here too!"

"How can you think about the money in the moments like this? Here, take my share."

"Moments like what?" Beetlejuice asked, accepting her money and shoving it deep into his suit pocket.

'_Intimate ones._' "Let's just get home."

"You can go right from here. You don't need to ride all the way to the Road House."

"I want to say good bye to Kevin." In truth, she wanted to spend some more time with Beetlejuice. She didn't know when would be another opportunity to visit the Neitherworld. These three days were not picnic, but they were fun. They argued and the usual banter was present half of the time, but when they danced or simply walked, it was like they were friends again. Like they were close again.

Upon their arrival, Beetlejuice and Lydia found Kevin and the Sappy Face Ghouls deep in a game of Monopoly despite the late hour. Kevin was winning, the girl of the trio was on the last place. But it was mostly because she was staring glaze eyed at Kevin half of the playing time, if not all of it. Beetlejuice noticed it and stormed off cursing on his way. Lydia ran after him.

"Is it what you mean by girls' disadvantages? That they fall in love? But boys do the same."

"That's the bloody problem," Beetlejuice spat, all his relaxed composure gone in a moment.

"I don't understand-"

But Lydia was interrupted by Kevin, who flew into the room, his spirits unshakably high. "I was thinking, BJ- Oh, sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No, Kevin, go on," Lydia said, coming to conclusion, that Beetlejuice won't explain his way of thinking. Simply on principle of hating the L-word.

"So I was thinking, can I and Sappy Faces go to Grislyland amusement park tomorrow? Just for a day. We'll pay you back."

Beetlejuice tossed Kevin a roll of bills. "Consider me generous today, but only for a day and no love tunnel rides."

"Yuck! Why should we go _there_?" Kevin asked with disgust and run away to tell his future companions about the great news.

"So there is still hope," Beetlejuice breathed out, falling onto the sofa in the living room.

"You want to break them up? But she is a… well, good girl, you created her yourself."

"How can't you see? It doesn't matter. We don't do this lovey-dovey, huggie-wuggie, kissy-wissy stuff. We are here to turn this world upside down and inside out!"

"If this is also an eternal tradition then Kevin should break it, damn the consequences," Lydia stated, indignant by his statement. He was going way overboard. She stormed out of the Road House, one thought buzzing at the back of her mind: Kevin shouldn't be the only one.


	9. Chapter 9

Time, lives and afterlives went on. Lydia kept visiting about twice a month, the last confrontation forgotten, at least on Beetlejuice's part. But Lydia kept watching Kevin who still hung out with Sappy Face Ghouls. He also gave them names to stop the constant confusion – Bobby, for the high kid, Violet and Mark. The specialty of the girl's name didn't go pass Lydia, but Beetlejuice seemed to be ignorant to which Lydia was very thankful. She didn't notice how she started to consider Kevin something close to a son, or a younger relative for whom she must care about and look after. She quite often played nanny for the kids while Beetlejuice was somewhere… Somewhere he didn't invite Lydia to since the time in Las Vigorous.

Somewhat good news was also that Lydia was dating again. When Lydia told the news in the Neitherworld explaining her rare visits, Beetlejuice only shrugged and disappeared, Kevin shrugged too, but was obviously sad by the development. The three of them knew that she didn't belong to their world, but the one of the living. And she will leave eventually, leave for good.

One evening Lydia came back to her flat, planning to continue her date through the night. She left her boyfriend in the living room, skipping to the bedroom to get rid of the useless layers of clothes. She jumped to her vanity mirror to check her makeup and froze mid-brush. A message from the Neitherworld was shining brightly, half of the letters smeared with blood: Come ASAP. BJ is ill dying.

Lydia rushed back to the living room and practically threw the guy out of her flat, not even bothering with explanation. A minute later she was already running towards the Road House. Slamming the door open, she looked around to find anyone who could explain what was going on.

'_He can't die. He is already dead. Nothing can happen to him, he is the Ghost with the Most_,' Lydia kept repeating a mantra in her head, searching for the inhabitants of the house. She was halfway towards Beetlejuice's room when a crack ran along the floor barely missing her. The closer she got to the room the more frequent the cracks and shakes were.

Finally she stumbled through the doorframe, finding everyone beside Beetlejuice's casket-bed. A chill ran down her spine as she imagined just for a moment what the sight could mean in her world. Thankfully, she was in the world of the dead where coffins were as common as sofas.

"What's going on?" Lydia breathed out, taking in the desperate expressions on everybody's faces. She also saw that the floor of the room had become brown instead of grey.

Kevin whispered something to Jacques, who returned to what he was doing, tilting over the bed's occupant. The boy in turn rushed to Lydia, grabbed her hand and pulled her to the next room, his own.

"It all started about two weeks ago, maybe earlier, but I didn't notice anything," Kevin started to explain, chopping the words in his rush to say everything as fast as possible. "I saw two dark spots on his shirt, but thought nothing of it; this grime or another, I thought. Then the spots got larger, I asked him about it, but he told me not to worry. And then, about five days ago, we were on a walk around town, and his all front turned red. He was freaking bleeding!"

"Bleeding?! And he hasn't told you anything?!" Lydia shouted, panic sinking into her voice.

"Yes! And he has been bleeding ever since! And we can't stop the blood! And the house started to shake today! Yesterday he said to me, 'Call her. The closet'. And I don't know what to do! What if he dies?!" Kevin cried, tears running down his white cheeks.

Lydia tilted down and hugged the sobbing boy. "Everything will be alright, BJ can't die," she reassured, wanting to believe in what she was saying. Beetlejuice did die six years ago, but he revived, but what if this time it was final?

Feeling Kevin calm down a bit, Lydia released him and led him towards the bedroom they just left. She neared the bed, afraid to look. Several vessels were standing around the bed, full with crimson liquid. Lydia swallowed, suppressing the urge to throw up. A half full bucket stood beside Jacques where he twisted a cloth filled with blood and replaced it on Beetlejuice's chest, where Lydia saw a gash over his left side, just where the heart is supposed to be.

'_But he doesn't have a heart_,' Lydia thought. '_Not anymore_.' "What closet was he talking about?" Lydia mused, throwing searching glances around the room. With piles of junk around it could be anywhere, even in the Land of Lost Things. And then her eyes landed on the closet with locks and chains over it. The one Kevin forbade her to touch or even near. As if hypnotized Lydia walked towards the creepy looking piece of furniture.

"Stop, you can't!" Kevin warned, but Lydia already touched the chains and they fell even with no need for a key. The doors opened on its own accord. "Oh my God," he whispered upon seeing the contents of the closet. Pictures upon pictures of Lydia in different years, little things, obviously gifts for one occasion or another, numerous pictures of Lydia and Beetlejuice together at different sights of the Neitherworld. "You definitely had a blast back then."

But Lydia didn't hear him. All the memories about her escapades in the Neitherworld rushed back, not that she had forgotten any of them, but now they were so clear and vivid in all their splendor, craziness and fun. "How could I throw it all away?" she asked herself, tracing a large golden frame with a photo on her eighteenth birthday which stood in the very center. Beside it lay something colorless and broken in half. Lydia touched it and a spot of red color appeared under her finger. "Why, BJ? Why did you do something like that to yourself?" Lydia asked softly, tenderly taking a piece of flesh into her hands. In was instantly mended and was turning red by the second. Very slowly she cared it towards the bleeding poltergeist and put it inside his chest through the gash which instantly sewed itself up.

Everyone in the room held their breaths, waiting for the result. Several minutes later Beetlejuice's eyes bulged open and Lydia was ready to release her breath of relief when…

"Take it out!!! Out!!! Out!!! Now!!!" he screamed, teleporting around the room at random places, looking completely mad.

Suddenly a wave of pain went through Lydia. She grabbed the front of her blouse, feeling as if something literally broke inside her. Her vision began to turn blurry. She glanced at Kevin, seeking help, but he was out cold on the floor.

The house shook again.

"What have you done?" Ginger wailed, coming down from the ceiling on a web's thread. "It is going to happen again. He will destroy everything again. Run! Run while your legs are still intact!" She followed her advice right away, disappearing in the direction of the attic. Jacques grabbed Kevin and cared him out of the room, overthrowing one of the buckets in the process. The floor was instantly covered in blood, but nobody paid any attention to it.

Lydia's insides clenched again. She felt down onto her knees – the pain was that strong. Her vision was getting fuzzy, but her mind remained clear. She looked up and saw Beetlejuice ripping the room apart in a form of a tornado. Despite the speed Lydia still managed to catch glimpses of his pain stricken face and tears running down cheeks.

'_It is_ his _pain that I feel_,' Lydia came to a shocking revelation. '_Why doesn't he want his heart back? Wasn't he incomplete without it? Why did he take it out in the first place? So many questions and no answers._' And then phrases and episodes since her second appearance in the Neitherworld started to resurface in her mind forming the global picture as puzzle pieces.

_All he felt towards her was hate from the moment they meant again._

_He always criticized her actions, especially ones in the past._

_One moment he was saying that age had improved her appearance and the other that she looked nothing but plain._

_He didn't want to take her to the wedding, but asked her to a dance._

_He was laughing his head off with Kevin, but was always depressed around her._

_Gave her revealing dresses and presents, but pushed her away on every opportunity._

_Mocked her on her lack of love life, but remembered whom he dated almost six years ago._

_The salty waterfall in his mind over her portrait - _

'_Tears! Beetlejuice was crying over me. He started bleeding two weeks ago, the day I told him I had started seeing someone… And back then he was angry when he discovered that Henry was more important to me than him… Oh God, he was jealous.'_

The truth behind Beetlejuice's attitude was so simple, so… ordinary if only they lived in the same world. Lydia knew that she didn't even think about it because it seemed to be utterly impossible with her best friend being a poltergeist, one of the dead.

"_Girls have disadvantages." "But boys fell in love too." "That's the bloody problem!"_

'_He fell in love with me… And I broke his heart. I made him rip his heart out. I killed him._'

A bolt of shock went through Lydia, but she knew it was not associated with Beetlejuice's pain that time. It was purely her own. An immense sense of guilt and shame overwhelmed her, but she fought them away for now. At that moment another pressing matter was at hand.

"Stop, Beetlejuice! Please, calm down! You are going to ruin the house!" Lydia cried, but was not heard through the cacophony of Beetlejuice's crushes into the walls and curses on everything dead or alive. "Please, I beg of you. Don't you want Kevin to be happy here, to have a wonderful afterlife?" With every word she crawled closer and closer to the center of the room where was the epicenter of Beetlejuice's 'storm', but her pleads fell on deaf ears. She got hold of the chain from the closet, and an idea struck her. "Beetlejuice, aren't you all chained up at the moment?"

Right on cue the Ghost with the Most fell down onto the floor, his wrists and ankles chained, but it was little help – he still didn't remain still, rolling around, hitting his head onto the boards, as if trying to get rid of something inside it.

'_What should I do? What are the right words to relive him of this pain, to return him to normal? I am supposed to be his best friend, but in reality I know so little of him. I've never thought he could act… feel like this._'

Catching a moment, Lydia managed to catch him into her embrace with Beetlejuice's head on her lap. He stilled instantly, like a baby wishing to be picked by her mother and finally granted his wish. Lydia was shocked to see tears on his cheeks, he even looked paler than normal.

"I am so sorry, BJ. For everything. I was so selfish. And stupid too. I didn't understand how important you were to me. I am sorry I left you. I won't leave. Not again. Not ever. I've never even thought we can be more than friends," she added under her breath.

"We can't," came a muttered response, followed by a light snore. Beetlejuice felt into a deep sleep.

The moment of peace was somewhat interrupted by an emerged crack in one of the walls. Lydia thought it was caused by Beetlejuice even in his sleeping state, but the gap soon was filled with smoke that travelled all over the floor, making Lydia cough. A short woman stepped into the room through the opening and neared the pair on the floor.

"He is not going to take an easy way out, isn't he?" she snapped, examining the sleeping figure in Lydia's arms.

"Can you move it a bit?" Lydia asked, referring to the cigarette-holder, which was practically in the young woman's face. "And who are you? Who gave you the right to enter this dwelling?"

"I have the right to be wherever I want in this world. I am Juno from the Administration. I came to investigate him finally loosing it. Seems he was stopped in time. Everything is obviously your fault. You are Lydia, right?"

Lydia blinked several times from surprise. The woman was jumping from one subject to another too fast for her to comprehend anything.

"Breathers," Juno spat, as if the word was a curse, "don't understand anything of this world, even if it works exactly as theirs," she muttered, attempting to move Beetlejuice to his bed, waving her mouth-piece as if it was a wand, but he was not cooperative, he seemed to be quite comfortable where he was. "Release him, he needs rest to rebuild himself." Lydia removed her arms from his shoulders and Beetlejuice floated towards his coffin-bed.

"Taking an easy way out? Rebuild himself? What are you talking about?"

"He has an enormous debt to pay. Dying would've solved the problem, but Kevin is not old enough to take over."

"Dying?! But you are all already dead! And what debt are you talking about? Don't you think you owe me an explanation?"

Juno took out her cigarette and inserted another one. She took several inhalings, before saying her next words. "Why should I? You are not one of us. And basically I am forbidden to share with you the knowledge about the world of the dead. It will upset the balance. Not to mention you are just one of his ways to entertain himself."

"Kevin and I are not entertainment! We are his friends, we have the right to know what is going on with him and why it is happening."

"But you do know why," the smoking woman stated, giving her a strange look. It was one of wisdom, but also pity. "Perhaps, I do owe you an explanation… You are the only one in both worlds who has something similar to control over him. Where should I begin? From the very beginning probably… The Wielders of the Juice have existed from the beginning of Time. They were created to bring mayhem into the world of the dead for it to have at least a part of real life. They come one after another, the previous one chooses his successor and teaches him to control the juice and then steps aside loosing the power. In my time here the current Juice Wielder is the third one. They are all different, but He is definitely the craziest of them all in the whole eternity (their whole existence is documented, so you can check records in the library), and He kept up the charade for the longest, four and a half hundred years is a long time even around here."

"You can't say his name," Lydia interrupted, but instantly closed her mouth, she didn't intend to say it out loud.

"Yes, I can't. In reality nobody should, because the Neitherworld 'jester' should've been anonymous. The rule was instigated to protect the prankster from direct hate of other inhabitants of the Neitherworld. Those who could say the name were persons who… basically liked to be pranked, that number was quite a small one, as you gather. With time that rule disappeared somehow. Now everybody knows whom to blame for every prank in the Neitherworld. Now they all hate Him openly and gloat at every opportunity. The worst thing is that they all know that without Him the Neitherworld will stop its existence.

No matter how strong or crazy the Juice Wielder is, they all fall with one disease sooner or later. I have to give it to him, he fought it the longest. Must come from his crazy nature. This disease is loneliness. Being hated by everybody and everything, having no-one to even talk to, sooner or later the jesters broke and gave their powers to somebody else. The same happened to Him. Two hundred years ago he was given two hundred additional years to his afterlife for a permission to bring a breather into this world. She was a cute little blond girl with a name Alice."

"Like Alice in Wonderland," Lydia remarked absentmindedly.

"The one and only. So everything went smoothly till she turned sixteen. The things turned really messy after that. The girl fell in love with Him. Head over heels and everything. Her feelings were one-sided though. So she hung herself."

"Oh my God!"

"Indeed. She did it in attempt to be reunited with her wanted-to-be lover in this world, but suiciders don't come through here, they go straight to you know where. That made Him quiet for some time, but he didn't attempt to bring another breather here. He got neighbors around that time too, so it was not that lonely for Him to exist. I am not sure what happened next. He watched the Outerworld at times, just to fight boredom and somehow he saw you. You were five years old. He watched you for several years before approaching me. I reminded Him about the previous case and He reassured me that he'd 'drop you before anything like that happens'. I asked for six hundred years as insurance and received them. That's how you appeared here. The years went on. Nothing drastic happened even it was clear that you were somehow special to him. You turned sixteen and there was no repetition of the previous 'best friend's' accident.

The problem was on the other end however. He couldn't 'drop' you. With each passing day you were growing apart, because you were growing up, preparing to have a life of your own. And He knew it. Knew it from the first moment He appeared before you – eventually you would part. It is the nature of life. Nothing is eternal. I even warned him when you were nearing eighteen that he must end that friendship of yours while it was still possible to have a clean break up. But, no! He dragged it on, the love-struck fool!" Juno even hit the side of the coffin in frustration. "And where did it get him?! Broken heart, juice malfunction, several districts turned to debris, not to mention loads of paperwork for me."

"I am so sorry! I know that I am at fault. I feel terrible only thinking about what Beetlejuice went through. I had the same experience, but I am sure his suffering was much more intent. All the tears and pain, to literally rip his heart out just to stop it all… I wanted to help, to somehow restore him to who he was when we were friends, but I ruined everything again."

"You are both to blame. He let the situation go out of control, which is very characteristic of Him. What is worse - he let you have power over him, and when you returned last year he gave you literal power without even knowing, purely from subconscious feeling. He became extremely dependable on you. You, on the other hand, were so understandable and caring and beautiful… I never understood why he chose you of all children on the planet."

"But what next? I do love him, maybe just not as deeply as he, but I could-"

"You can't and you won't," Juno cut her off. "Nothing has changed. You still belong to two different worlds. And the Neitherworld won't be turned to crumbles, not on my watch. I want another fifty years of peace, as it can be reached here anyway."

"Are you moved to another position? Retiring?"

"No, I am… moving on."

"Moving on?"

"We are dead, but our existence is not eternal here. We move on when our sentence is served."

"So this is the Purgatory?"

"Twisted isn't it? Doesn't differ from the real world in the slightest. They say that Heaven is the same, only there is no money and everybody is equal. For real."

"So Beetlejuice?.."

"Serves his sentence too, yes. With extracurricular 1200 years he wasted."

"1200 years… All alone. This is not fair!"

"Well, maybe the End of the World comes faster and he'll fall under amnesty. I am leaving, but you must stay by his side. You made a promise, didn't you? If he wakes up and you won't be around… Let's say, we all will move down to the lowest level. You know what I am talking about, right? It may take weeks or months, it's your choice. If you leave, there won't be anywhere to return to."

Juno left in a cloud of smoke, leaving Lydia on the floor broken and confused. She slowly stood up, her body heavy as lead, and stumbled towards the bed. Beetlejuice was sleeping peacefully, nothing indicated that something extraordinary happened hours ago. Only his eyelids twitched as if he was having a nightmare.

'_Could it be about me? Will he hate me even more with returned memories? When he remembers what pain I caused him? But I am sure we can work things out… But what if he still loves me? If I am not here, he will suffer because of it, but if I am with him but not able to answer his feelings… Either way it will never be the same between us. It is too melodramatic and Romeo/Juliet like for my understanding, but it is real and it is now._' Lydia tucked him in and went to check on Kevin.


	10. Chapter 10

Beetlejuice's sleep continued for three weeks. Lydia took Juno's words to heart and had staid the whole three weeks in the Neitherworld, thoroughly stocking out beforehand on the day of the 'accident'. She understood that the quake had remained local and no inhabitants of the Neitherworld suffered because of it. Nobody had even noticed it.

And how did Lydia know such information? To pass the non-adventurous time she walked all around on her own or with Kevin, watching the torrent of the afterlives. She also found the library and checked out 'The Records of the Insufferable Existences', volumes describing the main pranks of all the Juice Wielders of the Neitherworld since the beginning of Time. There was quite a few to say the least. Every wielder usually had one volume, Beetlejuice had two already.

'_No wonder he was talking about retirement, how long can you pull jokes on the crowd? But if he stops what will he do the next millennium?_'

Lydia, Kevin, Jacques and even Ginger took shifts in staying in BJ's bedroom, so there would be at least one of them present at all times. Lydia's sleeping sofa was also staying there. Lydia and Kevin have been spending quite a bit of time there, reading about the 'heroic deeds' of the previous Beetlejuices. Lydia was fascinated about the evolving process of the pranksters with changing of eras. They were also engrossed with a little project, a present to Beetlejuice of sorts.

She checked on Beetlejuice every night she went to sleep, tucking him in and brushing strands of hair from his forehead if he had moved too much the previous day. Every time she begged him to wake up already, but at the same time she questioned herself about the change it would bring for her. This time he will remember her and their time they had together, but also the pain she inflicted upon his heart.

The awakening of 'the beast' was announced actually by a mighty yawn that sounded more like a roar. Lydia fell from her armchair in the living room, not because of fright, but because the chair disappeared. Looking around she discovered that was not the only change: the furniture was changing shapes and colors to gloomier ones. The contrast was not vividly noticeable, but Lydia instantly recognized the style ala E. A. Poe.

"I don't like it," Kevin declared, examining the new table.

"Hopefully, it won't be as bad as it seems," Lydia muttered, going upstairs. She was surprised by the transformation. Did it mean that he had changed too? She finally reached the bedroom and froze on the doorstep.

"Surprised to see you here, babes."

If Lydia had been Beetlejuice she could've bet that words 'déjà vu' would've fallen onto her head right at that moment. He did look differently – the shirt was vine red and the black stripes looked a bit larger than the white ones with silver trim along their sides; the fair hair now was brightly white and he was a lot thinner, the face features seemed to be slightly different too, Lydia couldn't place the change though. But then it dawned to her – he looked older, not much, but ten years at least.

"I promised to stay, so I did," Lydia stated with resolution, feeling that she should stay her ground right now.

"When do you leave?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Haven't we had this conversation before?"

"But you still haven't answered. As I told you before, BJ, I don't want to leave. But only say a word and I'll leave and won't ever see the Neitherworld ever again. Was it what you said back then?"

"Why can't you decide on your own, Lyds?" Beetlejuice asked, learning against his coffin nonchalantly, as if the conversation was about a completely trivial matter.

"What do you mean?"

"You know that you can't stay here permanently so why waste your only life as a breather in the world of the dead? Go on, marry, have kids and whatever else you want," he replied bitterly.

Lydia was glad that he had finally showed some emotion, even if it was bitterness towards her. "I will, if you do the same."

"What?!!"

"You have Kevin, who can be considered your son, but I won't aloud you to remain alone for the rest of your afterlife."

"Have you gone nuts while I was not looking?! I can't m-m-m-marry! This is against everything I exist for!"

"Your problem. I am planning to visit the Neitherworld till the day of your wedding. Can share some dating tips if you want."

"But it can take centuries," he remarked with a smirk, happy to find a loop hole.

"Not with my active assistance. I am an active witness that you are not _always_ an arse and can be rather charming. We'll find you a fiancée in no time."

"Nonsense!" Beetlejuice spat, turning his back to her. "I can't…"

Lydia knew she was acting like a fool, talking crap about marrying him off and everything. It was indeed her wish to not leave him alone, but she was also avoiding the real problem. "Is it because of your… disposition towards me?" she asked cautiously, not knowing his reaction to the topic.

"Because my heart beats for the first time in my life."

Lydia couldn't ask for any elaboration on that mysterious phrase since Kevin appeared in the hall, and Beetlejuice was obviously happy for distraction. Kevin stated his negative opinion about the new decorum and they went to redecorate the house to practice Kevin's juice usage.

……………

Several days later, Kevin departed on another field trip with Sappy Face Ghouls and Lydia saw her chance. She found him in the one of the rooms, going through a leather bound book and, most importantly, smiling.

"We need to have a serious talk, Beej," Lydia stated, appearing behind him.

He snapped the book shut and tried to hide it behind a pillow, but Lydia has already seen its contents. It was not actually a book, but a photo album of all the photos that were found in the closed closet. Lydia and Kevin organized it chronologically and glued them in an album. Lydia wished she could see her old friend's reaction to the present, the smile just a minute before was quite enough too.

"Like a serious-serious talk? You know I hate it."

"No, just a talk with no topic avoiding." Beetlejuice looked at his shoes, deep in thought. "I like your new shoes, by the way," she complemented, referring to the boots that now were with rectangular ends instead of pointed ones.

"Buttering up much?"

"Is it working?" It obviously did, because the next moment they were already on the roof. "Here?"

"Why not?" Beetlejuice asked in return, lying down onto the slope of the roof.

Lydia soon joined him, glancing at the sky, but the briefness of the glance turned into a full gaze when she realized how beautiful the sky was that night.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Beetlejuice asked, breaking Lydia's moment of stargazing.

"Juno came-"

"When did that old hag manage to put her nose into my business?!"

"The other day…"

"So?"

"She told me a lot of interesting things, she seems to know you very well."

"It's her job. She believes herself to be my leach holder." A blue leach appeared around Beetlejuice's neck and he ripped it off as it was the cutest thing in the world. "She just keeps my records, but thinks she can control me, hah! As if anybody can!"

"I wanted to ask you why you had chosen me, another girl."

"_Another_ girl?"

"She told me about Alice."

"She had better kept her gap shut, in her neck too. She had no right to tell you about that!"

"She told me about it in a form of a warning."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask about the reason. They both knew the context in which the warning was issued.

"So why me? Why watch me for several years before approaching? Why paying six hundred years for some ten years of our possible companionship?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Lydia wanted to scream already. For some reason the literate Beetlejuice was covering up this mystery pretty heavily. "Because I want to know you better. Because I want to understand my destiny."

"Your destiny?"

"I was not some accidental choice. One the whole planet you noticed _me._ Knowing all the disadvantages, you'd still chosen a girl to be your best friend. I feel that I was somehow meant to come here, to upset the balance of the worlds of the alive and the dead, to befriend everyone and help you with your pranks. I don't really understand why I want to know so much. And before you say anything, it doesn't have anything to do with Kevin. You explained why you chose him, by the way. Why don't do the same about me?"

"I don't remember actually."

"I don't believe you. You remember about Alice and that was more than two hundred years ago."

Beetlejuice signed and stared intently into the sky. "You were fascinated with spiders," he uttered after a pause.

"Huh?"

"What five-year-old could play with spiders instead of screaming, crying and running to mummy? And you also liked bugs, and were the first to step into a haunted house attraction or a dark cave. That's why nobody liked you and you were always alone. So…"

"And you like the same things and were also alone," Lydia finished for him with a small smile on her lips. It was so simple after all – they were just too much alike to exist separately.

"Think whatever you want, I don't find it anything of importance," BJ grunted, closing the topic.

"Juno also told me something else…"

"Looks like she was very talkative for someone who is prohibited to tell breathers anything."

"Well, it was nothing exact, just that everyone here atones for something done in his or her life."

"So?"

"I understand that death is personal and everything, but could you… tell me about your misdeed?"

"I don't remember. And before you say anything, it happened 687 years ago, so I have all the right not to remember," Beetlejuice declared pompously.

"But you do remember the exact date."

"It was mass murder, satisfied?"

Lydia gasped. "And how did it happen?"

"So now you are twisted too, besides your love for everything gross? Taking pleasure in such stories?"

"It is alright if you don't want to relive that tragedy again," Lydia only said, sensing his discomfort, and not because of her twisteness.

"You _really_ want to know?"

"I won't judge you, if you are afraid of that."

"Well… You do know the story of Peter Pan, right?"

"The one written by John Barrie?"

"He did write it, but not without inspiration which he received from a legend about the Children's Island. It all happened somewhere in the end of the Middle Ages. Another plague broke loose and it was decided to bring children to an island for them to survive the plague. The kids were from five to ten years old. Girls and boys were brought to separate islands (where was the point in that if they wanted them to survive?) and left there. The plague stepped back, but nobody picked the kids up. Of course, third of them had died by the end of the epidemic not being able to survive on their own or being too weak. The rest of the boys survived and were living on their island rather peacefully and excitingly. Until babies started appearing on the shores. Sometimes babies, sometimes infants or two year olds. After some watching the children found out that the others were brought by fishermen and from the adults' conversations was understood that those brought were illegitimate children of the nobility, the mothers obviously with peasant origin.

It had continued for many years. One day there was a shipwreck near the island and several fishermen were washed ashore. They marveled at how well mere children (the oldest were twenty already) managed to built themselves a life on an isolated island. They told them about civilization and big cities and said they could return, nobody would say anything bad to them. Well, after some time the fishermen made themselves a boat and left. The boys continued to leave on the island, but the seeds of escape were planted. So sometime later, they built a boat and set sail. By some Fate they ended on the girls' island. To make long story short, the boys decided to live together with girls (Nature call and stuff), so they built another boat and sailed to the continent. Everybody but one boy. He didn't want to grow up or to go to any big cities, he liked to live in their greenhouse and have fun. So he returned to the boys' island and lived there, taking care of the cradles that appeared on the shore from time to time.

The island was not magical, so sooner or later everybody grew up. Giving up to pleads of the others, they set sail to one of the towns. Basically, that boy, a man of thirty at that time, was recognized by his mother by an usual birthmark on his neck. She told him that in reality he was the son of the Duke. The Duke also had legitimate sons, about the same age and a grandchild from the one of son's marriage to a daughter of a very rich feudal lord. So everything was perfect in the life of the Duke.

But the man was enraged finding out that it was the same Duke's order to bring the babies to the island, depriving them of mothers' care and be practically thrown out like some garbage. Moreover, the Duke had no trouble in the world, and all other children had to suffer to survive with no help from adults. Yes, it was all fun and challenge, but still, the kids were sent to death and not a painless one.

He came to the Duke's castle and killed the Duke and his sons, sparing the woman and the child only when she promised to bring the baby up properly. He was executed the next morning. That's the whole story."

"Did the man have a name?"

"It was Peter."

"Reality is cruel. I really pity all those kids."

"That's all?!"

"I said I wouldn't pass any judgment. Revenge and especially murder doesn't solve anything, but in the Middle Ages… who knows? The story explains a lot about you however."

"How so?"

"Childish behavior, befriending children instead of adults, not liking to be clean, _never_ being serious-"

"Hey! What happened to no judgment?!" Beetlejuice exclaimed deeply offended, but obviously faking it.

"I was just stating the obvious."

There were a sound of a POP and someone stumbling over the roof top. "Hey, what are you guys doing there?" came Kevin's voice from the darkness.

"Stargazing," Beetlejuice responded. "And do you find it fun to appear on non-level surface knowing next to nothing about how to do it? Kids these days…"

Lydia giggled, hearing the last remark. Why did he always make her laugh at the most inconvenient times? Not that she minded, she laughed so rarely in the world of the living. She needed to tell him something crucially important, but the conversation turned to laughs and jokes once again.

…………

A month later Lydia was going through some bank documents in her flat in New York, but her mind was only party with the figures she had to analyze for finishing her affairs with the financial institution. She still hasn't told Beetlejuice about her… condition. She just couldn't pick the time and the place. She loved Kevin, but wanted privacy in that one matter which was supposed to be quite delicate. For her at least. Was it the same for Beetlejuice when he kept his true feelings from her? This constant indecision.

"What if it still works? Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" To her astonishment the Ghost with the Most actually appeared, floating above her table with the leather bound book on his knees. He was so engrossed in it, that he didn't notice the change of his surroundings. "Do you like it?"

The book was instantly snapped shut, but this time there was nowhere to hide it. "Errrrr, neatness, you know, I hate it."

"Sorry then. Kevin and I thought it would be easier to browse through the photos this way. Do you remember now?"

"Most things…"

The conversation seemed to reach a dead end so Lydia decided to gather her guts and say it already. "I want to tell you something."

"Why call me here?"

'_So he isn't surprised that I can still do it, he must've known it all along._' "I wanted to tell you in private."

"So?"

Lydia took a deep breath and blurted, "I have terminal cancer. I have only about eleven months to live."

"Are you sure that the docs aren't simply seeing my juice? I am rather terminal," he added with a smirk.

'_Of all possible reactions…_' Lydia thought with disbelief. '_But it could make sense_.' "Can you tell where it is in my body?"

"Hm…" Beetlejuice flew down, coming closer. He touched her throat with his index finger and moved it downwards against her neck, presumably tracing the way the juice moved. The collarbone, right breast, lingered for some time on the left breast's nipple, went lower to the end of the ribcage, then towards her spine and back until the red finger's end didn't rest in her belly button. "Here."

"That's not it then," Lydia breathed out with slight regret. The wish to live was still strong within her.

"Should I take it out, so it won't cause you any further damage?"

"Can it?"

"Who knows?" Beetlejuice asked with a shrug, looking completely calm about the grave situation.

"This time I will be a good girl and open my mouth," Lydia proclaimed, doing just that.

"That won't be enough this time, babes," BJ drawled, his face nearing her even more, his glance longing and restricting at the same time.

"Do it, I don't mind," Lydia consented, putting two and two together in his veiled phrase. Not only she didn't mind, but she wanted to know the feeling of now 'full' Beetlejuice kissing her. Will there be any of his feelings? Or will it be only a transfusion?

It happened to be neither. Beetlejuice's lips were not as hot as the previous time, but not icily cold either. They were warm, but not as warm as ones of a living person. Indeed he was mostly sucking out the juice, but his lips lingered on hers for several moments after the juice ball changed its host. The Ghost with the Most was hard to understand when he was not telling jokes.

"You are dying," Beetlejuice stated, but his certainly came from the concrete knowledge – he saw it all in her body with his own 'eyes'. "Will you stay in the Neitherworld till… till Death do us part?"

"Must It?"

…………………

The Administration of the Neitherworld had another busy day. Some was going on in the Outerworld and new corpses were piling out in the Waiting Room like raindrops in autumn.

"Next!" Juno barked, putting some papers onto the pile on her table. She wondered briefly when the said pile would fall and who she would punish with cleaning it up.

The door opened with a characteristic crack and the visitor flopped down onto the chair.

"What are you doing here? And I didn't hear any disruption in the queue for that matter."

"Waiting, you know I hate it. But I did, for four months."

"I am surprised. You must want something very special to play by the rules first time in your afterlife."

"Lydia is dying."

"Pity. She was a wonderful woman."

"Don't you dare speak about her in the past tense!" Beetlejuice roared, losing his nonchalant composure.

"Well, she'll go straight to Heaven."

"How do _you_ know?"

"I checked. It's my job to keep you on the brick of sanity."

"Well, she wishes not to. She wants to stay here, with me, I mean, with us."

"That's unprecendent. For a Juice Wielder to be wrapped around someone's finger so tightly. You need to pay a LOT for her to come here after her physical death, and even after that she'd stay around not more than for four hundred years and then moves on. She is clean, no Death Sins on her record."

"There is another way, and free for me too."

"Oh no, you wouldn't dare," Juno whispered, feeling as fear was creeping up her spine. She knew that he could and would dare to go through with that crazy plan of his. He always did.

Beetlejuice pulled at his jacket's lapels to show her his ribcage where a heart was beating. "See this?! Nothing in both worlds can take my Lydia away from me! I can threaten and blackmail or just destroy this world just for the sake of it. And you know that I am not bluffing, Juno. Do you really want this or will just shut your gaps and sign the papers?"

"But you need her consent and there are other procedures and a lot of papers…" Juno mumbled, moved by his display. No ghoul had a beating heart. It stood still even if it was present. It could be animated, but not constantly. What did it mean?

Beetlejuice threw several papers onto Juno's table. "Here's her consent, blood and everything."

"You knew beforehand?!"

"You must know the rules to break them. Unfortunately, this time I am doing everything by the book." Several books fell onto his head, but he ignored them.

"She must have gone crazy to agree to this."

"Maybe. Just said something about liking spiders, but loving beetles."

With that Beetlejuice departed. June cursed in several languages and took several inhalings to calm herself somewhat. She pushed the offending pile of papers onto the floor in search of the telephone. On days like these she reminded herself that they were not in Hell yet, but it will surely break loose when she informs her superiors that the current Juice Wielder decided to get married.


	11. Chapter 11

"Beej! Hey, Beej! Hello there, is anybody home?!"

Kevin frowned. Lately, his best friend's attention was somewhere beyond everything, even beyond the Neitherworld, which was quite impossible. Kevin watched as Beetlejuice was putting new photos into the album. If he was correct, it was the first occasion that anything new was added there. So what was that supposed to mean?

Kevin kept watching for another ten minutes but since Beetlejuice hasn't even noticed his presence he decided to use drastic measures. A blue ray zapped across the room and hit BJ's chair which instantly disappeared.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" Beetlejuice yelled, soundly falling onto his ass.

"Well, it's become kinda hard to make you notice anybody around you."

"Don't you have anybody else to practice your juice on?" Beetlejuice grunted, standing up and stroking his soar butt.

"That's exactly what I wanted to talk about, BJ. I've been thinking… about our purpose here and all… and I asked myself why we must do pranks on everybody? Of course, it's fun, but only for us. We must bring fun into this world, I am sure there is another, peaceful, way to do this without being hated by everybody."

"Have you been spending too much time around Lyds lately? What is it about peace and happiness?"

"Isn't it the other way around? First you disappear without saying anything, she comes here obviously knowing where you are and saying nothing, even to me, then you start disappearing the absences at least a week long. And I can bet my juice that you were together somewhere. So what's going on?"

"Nothing," Beetlejuice answered, staring at the floor and pushing dust with his boot. Something was definitely up.

"So what about the new closed door?"

"What door?"

"Down the hall. There was no room there a month ago. I am sure of it."

"Just another room."

"Why is it closed then?"

"Because."

"What's with you? We've never had secrets between us before."

"It's going to be Lyds's room," Beetlejuice said reluctantly.

"For when she stays over?"

"Basically…"

"You should've done it a long time ago. I mean why must she sleep on the coach all the time? What do you mean by basically? She's been looking a bit seek lately. You didn't put only a bed there, right?" Kevin asked with reproach.

"Sick, yeah," Beetlejuice drawled, glancing at the opened photo album, where were pictures of Lydia swirling around with the Eiffel Tower in the background.

Kevin followed his glance. "What's that?" He looked at the date under the photo. "A month ago? You two went to Paris? What for?"

"She wanted to visit the capital of fashion."

"But we have our own Paris right here! Why waste time on the uncool one? I am surprised you agreed."

"It was one of her last wishes, so it was impossible to refuse."

Kevin didn't hear any displeasure in Beetlejuice's words. He seemed very eager to fulfill any of Lydia's desires. "Okay. Now tell me exactly what's going on," the boy demanded.

"Remember when we were at the wedding, Lyds told you that you could make the ceremony as short as you want if I… if I-I-I-I got m-m-m-married?"

"Yeah."

"Then you have a chance to do just that."

……………….

Usually the date of the wedding ceremony is put way in advance, but with Lydia and Beetlejuice it was exactly the opposite and not because the ceremony was going to be conducted in the Neitherworld. The reason originated from Lydia's sickness and its development, the ritual couldn't be done before her reaching the end of her living days.

Nevertheless the preparations were going in full swing and in complete secrecy. Only a selected number of people were invited. On Lydia's insistence Beetlejuice's parents were added to the guests' list, despite the groom's whining. And finally the day of the big event had come.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"

"And what you are doing here, Juno?" Beetlejuice grunted, juicing himself one outfit after another, but none of them seemed to suit him.

"Doing my job, what else?"

"I don't remember you on the guests' list."

"I don't plan to crash your wedding, if that's what you are afraid of. I did too much paperwork to make it all happen. Juice Wielders are forbidden to marry as you know."

"But they are not forbidden to participate in Souls Binding ceremony through marriage," Beetlejuice retorted with a smug smirk. Finding loop holes in any kinds of laws was his specialty. "I bet, everybody was running like headless chickens when you informed them about this development."

"Chickens, cats, dogs, pigs and cows. The paragraph was added at once."

"But they can't stop me now anyway. Breaking rules, you know I love it."

"What about her? Do you love the girl?"

"None of your business."

"And not for the record?"

"Do you remember how it feels to be alive?"

"What do you think? I am two times older than you," Juno grumbled, but Beetlejuice didn't miss the spark deep in her colorless eyes.

"The feeling of hot blood running through your veins, the warm touch of another person, the feeling of excitement and happiness bubbling inside you, not dreading the coming of the next day – don't you remember anything of that, Juno?"

"I do have some idea about what you are talking about…"

"Call it whatever you want, but Lydia makes me feel alive."

Juno gasped. The motion made her cough because of the smoke. "So you are dragging her through this Hell only to 'feel alive'? This is too despicable even for you."

"Lyds wanted it herself. She insisted."

"I don't think you resisted much."

"What for? I have been waiting for that moment since the execution." Beetlejuice snapped his mouth shut, realizing he revealed something he shouldn't have.

"So the girl was not an accidental choice. I see…" Juno remarked with a sly smirk, her mouth-piece hanging from the corner of her month. "Is she a descendent of the Duke family you slaughtered?"

Beetlejuice flinched at the word 'slaughtered'. "How should I know? Just looks like the kid."

"Maybe I should stay for awhile longer."

"No way! Are you planning to nag me for the rest of my afterlife? You do know that you are even worse than my mother!"

"A couple of hundred years won't hurt. I want to see how you will turn out after her guidance. Why don't you try white for a change?"

Beetlejuice's suit turned white with black tie and boots and a black rose in the buttonhole. "Hm, not bad."

"I do know you rather well. The knowledge gives me such a headache sometimes. At least _try_ to treat her well."

Beetlejuice showed her his tongue. Juno rolled her eyes at his eternally childish behavior and departed.

……………..

The ceremony of Souls Binding was no different than an average uniting in marriage. Several years ago Lydia was in the middle of the preparations for her wedding and was mentally prepared to become a wife and have a family of her own, but it was a 180 degree turn with Beetlejuice. When he informed her that the only way for her to remain in the Neitherworld in her current form was to marry him, she didn't object in the slightest. In her eyes it was only the means for her to remain with her friends and… for Beetlejuice not to be alone, for him not to suffer anymore.

But only at the moment she was walking down the aisle, seeing her groom in a white suit, Lydia understood the simple truth – she didn't want to leave Beetlejuice. She not only accepted his love but _wanted_ it. A simple flirtatious wink sent her whole body on fire, a brushing touch awoke a lust frenzy. She could simply sit and watch for hours him teaching Kevin new tricks. Since when had she started to act like a teenager with a hopeless crush? His physical change did not bring the change for her feelings, that's for sure.

If she had been completely honest with herself, she would've admitted that she started dating other guys because she was afraid she would not be enough for Beetlejuice. Not beautiful enough, not sexy enough, not gross enough, not mean enough… Despite her despising all clichés she also had a phase of wanting a Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet, and Beetlejuice was certainly not charming.

Only years later, years without Beetlejuice, she realized that he was exactly what she needed. A house with white picket fence didn't work for her. Her artistic soul had to be free from mundane settled family life. And with Beetlejuice nothing was ever settled or mundane. They clearly made an unusual couple. But was love, as it is in the world of the living, possible in the world of the dead? On the other hand, why was the ceremony of Souls Binding created for?

"We have gathered here to join this ghoul and this woman in the ceremony of binding of two souls," began the skeleton, who was performing the ritual. "Do you Beetle Juice agree to take this woman as your companion for the rest of your afterlife?"

Silence followed the question. Lydia's still moving blood ran cold. What if he doesn't agree? It was she who insisted on remaining in the Neitherworld with no explanation of her reasons. What if Beetlejuice doesn't want her here? Lydia glanced at her groom through her web veil (courtesy to Ginger) to see him rocking on his heels, hands deep in his pockets, as if waiting for his queue in a shop. Lydia shook her head in disbelief – not even serious a bit about such an occasion.

"I do," he finally uttered, not without a wink towards Lydia.

"Do you Lydia Deetz agree to spend your afterlife with this crazy-, hm, I mean, with Beetle Juice?"

Now, Lydia decided, was time for a little revenge. She hold pause for as long as it took Beetlejuice shudder a couple of times, then replied, "I do."

"Do you have the ring?" the skeleton asked Beetlejuice, who put a show of searching in his bottomless pocket and finally taking out a wrapped box. Lydia recognized it as the one she saw in the 'Lydia's closet'. She thought it was one of her presents, so she left it on its previous place. Beetlejuice took of the wrapping paper and took out a ring from the velvet box then returned it to the pocket.

"With this ring… Well, I don't remember the words, so let's just put it on. It will look good on you without any wordy rubbish."

Lydia stifled a giggle. Her lungs were on fire because of no painkillers in her body to fight cancer, but she just couldn't help but laugh at BJ's typical behavior. She stretched out her arm and her ring finger gained a simple silver band in a form of a beetle whose legs connected to each other forming the ring. It was very cute and to her liking.

"If there is anyone who objects to this union, say it now or forever hold your peace."

Silence greeted the small gathering, this time a welcomed one. Just in case Kevin juiced everybody's mouths shut. The ceremony was about to be proceeded when a black carriage stopped in front of the chapel. Lydia's still present breath caught in her throat. Was somebody of power, one of Beetlejuice's enemies, like the Mayor, going to stop the wedding? A pair in black entered the chapel.

"We are extremely sorry for being late. Please, don't mind us, go on," Prince Vince said casually, lifting the pressure in the room. The latter was enormous since even Beetlejuice didn't know how to react to the appearance of the royal couple on his wedding.

"Oh, well," the skeleton continued, "with power bestowed upon me I announce that these two souls should be united. You may kiss the bride."

Lydia tensed involuntarily. She felt like an inexperienced virgin all of a sudden. It was not going to be their first kiss, but first real kiss. Before she could gather her thoughts her veil was moved up.

"Having cold feet, babes?"

"You are not supposed to talk, just to kiss me," Lydia mumbled, feeling slightly lightheaded by his closeness.

"Yeah, seems to be the way these things usually go. Happy endings, you know I hate them."

Despite his words, Beetlejuice grabbed his newlywed wife by the waist and smashed his lips to hers. The kiss was different from everything Lydia imagined. Yes, the infamous stinky breath was present, but she thought of it as a natural smell, not something to be disgusted by. And his tongue… Oh God! It was not only the master of witty jokes, it could do _wonders_ in somebody else's mouth. Lydia didn't even notice how she pressed herself to Beetlejuice so no space was left between them. Suddenly there was a sharp pain somewhere in her heart and then she heard a loud thud, but, to her mind, it was nothing of no importance at the moment. Somehow Beetlejuice pressed her even closer and closer and then a tiny bit more and just for a millisecond Lydia saw a myriad of colors and shapes, lines and patterns, which were moving in some chaotic dance. For just a moment Lydia became a part of that dance and then everything disappeared.

"Welcome to the land of the dead. Your stay here will be as unpleasant as possible," came Beetlejuice's voice from behind her.

'_What is he doing behind me? Unless… he went through me... to bind our souls. Then that wonderful place was BJ's soul... I wonder what mine soul looked like to him_.'

'_Not as ugly as you think,_' echoed a male voice in her head.

'_Huh? Don't tell me that with our souls bonded, our minds are too!_'

'_Unfortunately not, I am just messing with ya._' Lydia almost rolled her eyes hearing the familiar cackling in her mind. '_So how does it feel to be dead?_'

'_I am? But I didn't remember when it happened and how… And I don't feel any different._'

Their telepathic conversation was interrupted by the conductor of the ceremony. "I present to you for the first time Mister and Missis Juice. Guys at the bar won't believe me." The skeleton surely didn't intend to say the last sentence aloud, but it still slipped. The incredibility of the union was just too much. And surely nobody could guess if it was a turn for the better or the worse. Will Beetlejuice terrorize everyone less since he has now someone to distract him?

"You know, I only now realized that Beetlejuice is not really your name," Lydia declared, looking at her pouting husband. "Can I call you simply Beetle now?"

Before Beetlejuice could answer, his parents hurried to congratulate the newlyweds. "We called him Bugsy when he was little," Missis Juice shared with her daughter-in-law.

"Mum!!!" Beetlejuice wailed, embarrassed once again.

"Now listen, Junior, Lydia is a good girl, she will look after you so you keep your room and ears clean."

"And find a job," Mister Juice added.

"I will try to the best of my abilities, Mrs. and Mr. Juice, but I love your son the way he is, so I don't see any point in drastic changes."

"If you continue to keep my folks at bay like this, there'll be some point in keeping you around," Beetlejuice drawled, putting his arm around Lydia's waist.

Lydia raised an eyebrow in silent question, but not about the phrase (it was completely normal for him to say something like that. The rule of 'no nice stuff' was not only engraved in stone on the Roadhouse), but about the gesture. What's with the sudden closeness which could be even called tender? And then the words she said only a minute ago registered in her head: "…I love your son…" Said as if it was the most natural thing in the… Neitherworld. And it was. Lydia loved Beetlejuice. Probably since the moment she met him when she was ten. And it was also natural that she wouldn't hear any confession in return, only an acknowledgement in a gesture. But that was quite enough. For now.

"So can I call you by your given name, Beetle?"

"What's the point in asking, if you are already doing it?" Beetlejuice grunted, but there was no resistance in his tone.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation-"

"Your Highness," Lydia gasped, making a deep reverence. She wanted to scold Beetlejuice again for his disrespectful behavior, but saw him giving a curt nod to the Prince and his wife.

"No need, Lydia. I wanted to ask of you if Lydia would presume having her living name. This ceremony hasn't been performed for centuries, my office is completely lost about the matter."

"Of course, she will have the same name," Beetlejuice answered not without superiority. "Lyds is in the same form and state of mind, so the name remains. What is there to doubt?"

"So the young lady will go into records as Lydia Juice, I presume?"

"Records?" Lydia intervened, deciding to take part in the discussing with her as the subject.

"When you die you think that you will leave behind everything associated with the mundane world, you do actually, but one thing remains wherever you go – bureaucracy," Beetlejuice explained, his opinion of the said bureaucracy was obviously lower than Hell.

"You mean, you keep records of people who arrive here, where they live and stuff?"

"Of course, dear Lydia. You will be entered into the general records as every inhabitant."

"Mine too," Beetlejuice added.

"Yours, BJ? You mean those volumes in the library? I'll be there too?"

"Could be."

"It will be a real honor."

"Just as it is an honor for as to congratulate you on your marriage."

"What are you doing here by the way, you were not invited. How did you even find out?" Beetlejuice snapped. This time Lydia did elbow him. "What now?!"

"Thank you, Your Highnesses. All our friends are welcomed. We just didn't dare to send you an invitation to our small ceremony, we don't even have a reception planned," Lydia made excuses in attempt to maintain a friendly atmosphere. Beetlejuice could be such a jerk at times! It seemed his jerkiness had no bounds especially around Prince Vince. '_Don't tell me that he is still jealous! That's just impossible! Vince's attraction for me died_ years _ago_!' Lydia shook her head in dismay. Why Beetlejuice just couldn't say anything on the subject? '_Or maybe I should instead say or do something to reassure him._'

The royal couple left as did Beetlejuice's parents and neighbors, leaving only Juno and Kevin in the chapel. In respect to Beetlejuice he didn't clean up as he did for Prince Vince's wedding, but was still wearing a green tux that looked like it went through a dumpster which it probably did.

"You know, Beej, why did the ring-box look like an old present? And I am sure you didn't stole it from under someone's Christmas tree, because I saw it before in the locked closet."

"So back to Beej?"

'_So he actually likes when he is called by his first name. I bet no one calls him like that, come to think of that, not even his own parents. But he is deflecting as usual, there just must be something personal about that box._' "Why don't you tell me, Beetle?"

"I bought it back then, didn't see any point to buy another one and since today _is_ our tenth anniversary… Of course, the ring didn't have any special meaning, just a trinket to remember me by…"

Lydia's knees went weak from the overwhelming shock. "That's why you insisted so hard on coming to the Neitherworld and were so mad when I declined," she whispered, grabbing onto his shoulder to remain standing. "You remembered that it was our anniversary and me… Hah, acting all grown up and not even remembering such important things, stupid girl."

"Hey! What's with the tears?! I know marrying me is not the best fortune in the world, but spare the guy some ego!"

Lydia rubbed her face onto his shoulder to dry up the tears. "I can't believe I ditched you for some guy I didn't even like that much."

"Yeah, that was a really stupid thing to do. I am the Ghost with the Most! Who can be better than me?" Beetlejuice asked with a toothy grin.

"Of that I am certain," Lydia responded with a smile of her own, but then frowned. "What do you mean 'to remember you by'?"

"It was supposed to be our last anniversary. I was supposed to cut you off."

A huge knife fell from above. Lydia sprang from his side and looked down at the knife in between them. "But you didn't, you gave me another five years. Why?"

Beetlejuice only shrugged. His pouting expression gave the answer away however – he simply didn't want to. Why was that? A whole different discussion.

A bright flash blinded them for a second. "Who dares to prank me?!" Beetlejuice roared, trying to settle moving rings in his eyes.

"A picture of the newlyweds for the records. Did you think I would be satisfied only with a name of the unfortunate one?" Juno asked with her cigarette-holder shaking from contained snickering.

"But we didn't even pose!" Lydia protested. "Take another one."

Juno's eyebrows rose in surprise for Lydia even wanting to have one, but readied the ancient looking camera once again. "Ready now?"

Lydia took care of her tears stained cheeks and took her rightful place beside Beetlejuice.

"Smile, please," Juno creaked and pushed the button. At the very last moment Lydia grabbed Beetlejuice head and pulled him in for a kiss. "Huh?"

"So when is the next volume coming up?" Kevin inquired, coming up from behind Juno smirking to show all his uneven teeth. "I really want to see that picture. Or you could send it over? And you know what the worst thing is? Since they are both dead, they don't need to come up for air. So nobody knows when they will stop. And I am living in the same house as them."

"But obviously they have their own room," Juno drawled, still a bit shocked by the display in front of her. Who would've thought? A happy Juice Wielder… What consequences could that bring?

"Two rooms at two ends of the hall. Hey, will they have kids?"

Juno wanted to ask if he was nuts, but decided to deal with the matter professionally. "Since in the Neitherworld children are given in a form of punishment, it is not for me to decide. But I am sure, you yourself is quite a handful."

"That I am," Kevin declared proudly. "Hey, people! Are you going to stand there the whole day or go for your honeymoon already?"

The question made Lydia came down to… the world of the dead. "What honeymoon? There were no plans for honeymoon."

"I have no idea what he is talking about," Beetlejuice agreed, but the sparks in his eyes spoke of the opposite.

"So where are we going?"

"To any part of the world you wish to. This one or the other. The Outerworld has limitations though – one place is forbidden. Right, Juno?"

"Yes, yes, the paperwork is written and signed. A free passage but only for a month," Juno grumbled in reply.

"You skunk! Couldn't you tell beforehand, I have absolutely no ideas-" The rest of the words died in Lydia throat when she saw Beetlejuice turning into a striped skunk (it had more than one stripe obviously). "Deadly Woo, I still have that power. But how? Didn't it leave me with BJ's juice?"

"A little wedding present, honey," June explained not without a smirk. "Somebody must keep him in control. And who better than his own wife whom he chose himself. Don't you think so, mister?" Juno taunted the skunk, who in retaliation sent a cloud of his patented stench towards her face. Juno only huffed, blew smoke at skunk/Beetlejuice and left the chapel.

"Okay, be a bad boy, Beetle, and turn back," Lydia said, stroking the black-white fur, having not even an ounce of belief that those words will help. To her total astonishment Beetlejuice returned to his own crazy self the moment Juno closed the door. "It was not me, right? It was only a stunt to make Juno believe that there is even a tiny bit of control over you," Lydia concluded, shaking her head. Control over Beetlejuice? Not in a million years.

"Who knows? The power of the Juice is boundless," Beetlejuice remarked philosophically. "So where will it be?" he asked, handing Kevin something wrapped in a dirty napkin. Dirty it was but the red stains surely looked fresh. He whispered something to the young juice wielder and Kevin run out of the chapel.

"Will you ever forgive me, BJ?" Lydia asked her tone serious.

"Huh? What for?"

"For… breaking your heart."

"This place is for atonement of your sins. You have plenty of time to receive forgiveness."

"But what about you? Will I ever receive _your _forgiveness?"

Beetlejuice took her right hand and put it onto the left side of his chest. Lydia felt the steady heart beat under the jacket, she also noticed on the said jacket a small whole with red stains around it.

"I missed that when you were not around. You know, like something is missing, but you cannot understand what and your head starts to ache because you can't remember what is that important thing that is not there," Beetlejuice answered to her plead. "And forgiveness is worth nothing around here. That ring however, babes, is another story. I paid quite a hefty sum for it, added some cool features to it too. So…"

Lydia smiled. That small speech was the closest to love declaration that she will hear from her dear friend. No, not a friend, husband. And the ring – sign of forgiveness. Nothing outright nice with Beetlejuice. But Lydia didn't need to hear the exact words, she understood him without them quite fine. She touched her chest and heard her heart beating too. How could that happen? Not to mention, her dress was smeared with still warm blood. A bolt of realization hit her, but Lydia shrugged it off. Why should the way how she died be of any importance?

"I think I have one great place in mind," she announced, taking him by his arm and heading to the exit.

"Finally, babes! And no more this serious stuff, I am having a splitting headache already!"

Lydia pushed his head halves together and sealed it with a kiss. To make it better, you know. "Why didn't you tell me about the honeymoon plans? And is there a place for a coffin for two there?"

"Huh?"

Lydia wanted to explain, but felt something moving inside her mouth. She wanted to spit it out, but bit into it instead. "Now I understand you, Beetle. They are really crunchy, not to mention this heavenly taste... Do you keep the best of the best between your teeth or all bugs are that good?"

"My secret stash? How dared you to invade my secret stash?!"

"Easy," Lydia flirted, leaking her lips with a striped tongue to savor the taste.

"You do that one more time, and there will definitely be a coffin for two," Beetlejuice warned, but threats were obviously the last thing on his mind.

"Bring it on."

…………….

To an enormous happiness of Juno Beetlejuice didn't have a talent of fortune-telling, but he was right about Kevin. The boy was truly talented and officially became the Juice Wielder of the Neitherworld at the tender age of two hundred and thirty. But before that he managed to accomplish something that turned around the afterlives of the inhabitants of the Road House.

Kevin gained permission to build an amusement park with a special haunted house attraction. The house's main character was Beetlejuice who scared the pants and all other articles of clothing from the customers and even got paid for it (that was of course the main point for the Ghost with the Most to agree to such barbaric 'job', but he called it 'leisure activities' so his reputation could remain intact).

Lydia had a boutique with clothes of her own design and also made photographs of those who wished to engrave their presence in the new amusement park. Even Jacques and Ginger helped, running their own attractions.

When time came Beetlejuice and Kevin went to the Center of the World for Kevin to obtain the Juice to the fullest. Just before that Beetlejuice placed a piece of his juice into Lydia and then took it back to regrow it in his body. Like Hell he would give his Juice up. The old dog still knew some tricks. And Juno could not say a thing since he was not in her jurisdiction already, or anybody else's for that matter.

Juno's replacement however proved to be quite a surprise. The young woman was blond, but far from airheaded. She was perfect for the job of the records' keeping. She was also perfect to ruin one of the oldest traditions that surrounded the Juice Wielders' existence in the Neitherworld. Kevin, now Partymaker, was never much into breaking rules, but even Beetlejuice admitted that his successor surpassed him in that department when he proposed to Gwen, his records' keeper. Obviously Beetlejuice was not at all happy when Kevin received a positive answer, but that is another story…


End file.
